Friday, March 29, 2024

Surgery

Surgery on a Grape: Behind the Drapes

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By now, everyone has seen the videos of the da Vinci robotic surgery system being used to skin a grape, and the memes that have gone along with it. Here is what was left...
urine input

Yikes: Patient Reports 1.5 Liters of Urine Input

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Completely catching his inpatient team off guard, a hospitalized patient informed his urologist this morning not only had his urine cleared significantly but he also had at least...

Plastic Surgery Forced to Rebrand Due to Negative Association with Global Warming

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Plastic Surgery has been getting a bad wrap for their association with the deteriorating brand value of plastic in the current climate of global warming. They have been asked by the State Medical Boards...
periorbital mass nose

Ophtho Relieved That Periorbital Mass Is Just the Patient’s Nose

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AUGUSTA, GA - Thanks to the assistance of both Oncology & ENT, a local ophthalmologist is relieved to find out a patient's periorbital mass is simply just his nose.
Super Mario 27 Bones

Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand

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WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt to find 1-Up mushrooms and bank some extra lives, Super...
hypothalamus

Unable to Fix Office Thermostat, Neurosurgeon Removes Own Hypothalamus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Talk to any health care professional and they'll tell you that self-treatment is not the best idea. However, for one D.C.-area neurosurgeon, he was convinced that self-treatment was...

New More Remotely Controlled da Vinci Robot Allows Surgeons to Operate Even While Sitting...

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As medical providers, we are all aware that the current trend in medicine is for patients to have 24/7 access from anywhere to any specialist. Electronic ICUs are popping up all over. Virtual Skype...
aisle 9 home depot

Breaking: Orthopods Spotted in Aisle 9 of Home Depot

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FORT MYERS, FL - In breaking news here at Gomerblog, a herd of orthopods has just been spotted in aisle 9 of Home Depot. The sight is breathtaking. It appears...
Dab

MS3 Responsible for Additional 50cc Blood Loss During Surgery for Doing ‘The Dab’ Instead...

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AKRON, OH - After working in academics for over 20 years in Gynecology, Dr. Marshall thought she had seen it all. But a whole new level of stupid walked into the room on May...

Ode to Thyroid: Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

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Listen I have to confess I have not been appreciative of you You give and you give and you give But you also know when to pull back You keep me from being a fat tired constipated mess You don’t...