Michael Phelps Has a Few Too Many Cupping Marks Near Genitals
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Although Michael Phelps has already drawn attention to the healing technique known as cupping with multiple circular bruises spotted across his body, today the greatest Olympic swimmer of all-time was...
Man with Frog in Throat Also Has Tadpoles in Scrotum
HICKORY, NC - Jerry Thompson has been dealing with a hoarse voice over the past week, something not uncommon as temperatures cool with the approach of winter. He felt it lingered a little too...
Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick, or Johnson are "almost certain" to acquire at least one...
Breaking News: Local Urologist is a Giant Dick
NASHVILLE, TN - After examining thousands upon thousands of male genitalia, area urologist Richard Ball-Sax has been called by patients, colleagues, friends, and family for the person he has now become: a giant, throbbing dick.
"It...
Da Vinci on Pace to Win Gold in the All-Around
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Da Vinci Robot came to the Olympic games with high hopes. Bob Costas has called him "the single greatest gymnast he has ever seen." da Vinci is well respected...
Urology to Use Nutcracker in OR During the Holidays
TOPEKA, KS – Urologists at Mercy Hospital have announced plans to perform surgery with the help of an 8-foot-tall wooden nutcracker during the holiday season. David Drosselmeyer, Chief of Urology, could barely contain his...
New E. Scrotalis Bug Discovered, Urology Resident Infects Everything
FAYETTEVILLE, AR - After an investigation of epic proportions, Dr. Frank Hare, a second-year urology resident at Fayetteville Hospital, has been found to be responsible for spreading a new strain of scrotum-colonizing bacteria everywhere.
Dr. Hare...
Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath
ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force and maximum torque" and absolutely looks forward to the horrific...
Radiologist Reports His Dictations in Haiku Form
Dr. Gerald Wong, a veteran radiologist with 5 months before his retirement, was interviewed yesterday by E.J. Weekly on how his new style of reporting. Dr.Wong, leaning back on his chair, said "Frankly, I'm...
Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?
CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after a panel review at the recent national meeting.
“With no major...
