Monday, August 10, 2020

Urology

urine catheter

Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly 1 million medical providers are not only afflicted but also...
mri scanner

New Super Duper Minimally Invasive Transurethral Aortic Valve Replacement Gaining Popularity

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Patients across the country are calling their doctors at all hours asking to be scheduled for the newest minimally invasive surgery, SuDMITAVR, which stands for Super Duper Minimally Invasive Transurethral...
crotch groin testicles

USPSTF Recommends Against Getting Kicked in the Balls Repeatedly

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BOSTON, MA - In an update of their 2006 recommendation statement, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) now recommends against getting kicked, smacked, slapped, whacked, or punched in the balls repeatedly, regardless of...

New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds

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CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician.  She has been desperately trying to impress her attending.  The group thought it was odd she...
urology awkard

Let Me Have at Your Johnson

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EXAM ROOM 4, UROLOGY CLINIC - Hello, sir.  You seem a little bit nervous.  Well, there’s no need for that, I can assure you.  After medical school I spent the better part of a decade...
old man

Pioneering Bionics Company Gains FDA Approval for Robotic Penis

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E-Rextion Bionix has proudly announced that its breakthrough HeteroErectus Cyberpenis enhancement prosthesis will soon be available to patients in the U.S. market who so desperately seek a solid and trustworthy erection without having to...
foley catheter

Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters

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BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly nice and very bright, just always seems to be tripping...
urine sample

Hospital Staff Deciding If Cup at Nurses Station is Filled With Urine-Colored Tea or...

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BOCA RATON, FL - The hospital staff at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Ratón Community Hospital have spent the last four hours debating whether the unidentified liquid left in a cup at the central nursing station...
measuring tape

New Study Demonstrates Average Penis Size to be 5.4 Inches

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BOSTON, MA - A new study conducted by the National Urological Association enrolled over 25,000 males of all races to measure flaccid and erect penis sizes.  Their results concluded the average erect penis size to...
Vegas Urology Show

Urology & Pediatric Departments Gearing Up for Annual ‘Circ du Soleil’

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LAS VEGAS, NV - The Urology and Pediatric Departments at Las Vegas Regional are diligently preparing to host the 6th Annual "Circ du Soleil" extravaganza next week.  The highly-anticipated event will draw hundreds of excited...
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