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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr. Jeff Riggs quickly sprung into action and administered 500 cc of 5% albumin.

Boring Date On A Cell Phone“Well, it’s something I like to do when standard fluids have failed,” said Riggs after noticing that his date had barely sipped at her Chardonnay. “For my patients, I think it sort of draws fluid into the bloodstream with, you know, oncotic pressure or whatever, and I figured that in this situation it could boost her mental status or something.”

“Maybe help with her kidneys, too,” added Riggs.  “The stuff is magic.”

According to restaurant sources, Riggs’ date then became edematous and hypoxic, which required emergent awake intubation on the carpeted floor.  Riggs then followed the albumin with 80 mg of Lasix.

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  • Jennifer Simoneau

    He should have used Albuterol that shit fixed everything!

  • Guest

    You do realize that’s just a stock photo right?

  • guest

    This one is so impossibly nerdy I can’t stand it. Awesome!

  • Rishi

    My thoughts exactly

  • Katie Hart

    Ha ha ha

  • Heather Noel Favret

    If 500mL put her in overload, she really was sick!

  • Cathy Sinclair

    Love it!

  • Linda Bryson

    Great share…the day before they turn loose the new interns on unsuspecting patients.

  • Andrew Tan

    He shoulda put her on renal dose dopa. Everybody knows that works better than albumin.

  • Lynn Alexis Olsen

    Cindy are you following this ?

  • Jinu Kim

    Hahahaha. Wtf

  • Carole Bryant

    Sounds like a fun date to me. Particularly with a bald asian who’s just insulted my intelligence.

  • Natalie Huff

    Omgggg is this true???!!

  • Natalie Huff

    I told you my albumin story? Right?

  • Christy Oberholtzer

    Natalie Huff

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