toliet flushing medications

BETHESDA, MD – Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study examining the relationship between prescription narcotics and benzodiazepines and indoor plumbing.

toliet flushing medications
“There must be some magnetic attraction!”

“It has come to our attention that over the past 20 years, as the number of prescription narcotics and sedatives has skyrocketed, the amount of these medications disappearing down sink and toilet drains has increased at an even steeper rate,” explained Jon McMahon, MD, Ph.D, JD, MPH, MS.

“In America, a pill bottle full of prescription benzos or narcotics is 700,000 times more likely to fall into an indoor plumbing receptacle than all other medications combined.  Meds to treat high blood pressure, diabetes, and cholesterol are prescribed with ALMOST as much frequency as narcotics and benzos, yet are almost never lost down sinks or toilets.  Our aim is to find out if these chemical compounds have some magnetic properties or another explanation for their affinity to porcelain and metal pipes.  Our numbers don’t lie: there has to be scientific reasons for this incredible disparity.”

When questioned if patients could be lying about losing their prescription meds because they could be selling them or taking them more frequently than their prescription indicates, Dr. McMahon responded, “I highly doubt that.  I mean, what chunk of rat excrement would lie and waste his or her doctor’s time in the office or occupy an ER room that could be used to treat someone suffering from an actual problem?  To prevent a vomiting elderly lady or a 3 year-old with an asthma attack from being promptly treated because you are a deceitful junkie wasting everyone’s time?  No one is that shamelessly heartless.”

If the amount of narcotics lost into the sewage system is indeed correct, we could have toxic drug levels in our water ways.

“I was wondering why the fish seem to be getting so lazy and bloated recently,” said local fisherman Rob Wickers.  “The fish seem to making some strange sound that starts with ‘D’ but I can’t fully understand what they are asking for.”

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  • Esther Clark

    Not to mention the scripts that were actually eaten by dogs.

  • Esther Clark

    There is also a huge loss on our public transportation system. Has anyone done any research into what happens to all those prescriptions lost on buses and in taxis?

  • Blueeyes

    Maybe you should speak for yourself. Not everyone can take pain like you. And NOT everyone is addicted either

  • killer61099

    not 30 330!!!!!!!!!!

  • Denise Boswell

    Oh Keith Pochick, I just laughed so hard and loud at this one that my husband actually STOPPED watching WWE to look my way!

  • Bob B Bopp

    Ashley , Renae

  • kandyce

    This is based on what? My father had blood pressure pills and neurontin scattered on his floor like tic-tacs, all of the time. I constantly had to yell at him about it. The difference with BP meds and other meds is that, PEOPLE WILL JUST SKIP THEIR MEDS! And if they don’t get withdrawal, no one seems to notice. But it is incorrect to assume that it does not happen with other meds.

  • kandyce

    I am urine tested at my doctor. Some say that they feel like they are being treated like addicts, but I don’t feel this way. By doing this, it creates a rock-solid record that your meds are being taken, just in case anyone ever accuses you of not taking them properly. My doctor also has a great sense of trust in me, because I have followed the rules for years now. So it only makes things better.

  • Jane doe

    What about hospitals that dispose of iv medication down the drain? I personally know this happens. It’s everything you can think of. Antibiotics. .blood pressure meds etc.. I didn’t feel right doing it but I was told that’s how it’s supposed to be done.. how good is our water filtration systems?

  • Laura Mehard

    the place to start is the prescription pad….you do not need 30 narc tabs to recover from an out patient procedure…10 will do it and then switch to OTC..

  • Laura Mehard

    the place to start is the prescription pad….you do not need 30 narc tabs to recover from an out patient procedure…10 will do it and then switch to OTC..

  • Shawn Brooks-Lockhart

    I hadn’t at first and my mind was blown. 3rd reply under this is where I acknowledge the satire.

  • Sharron J Kelly

    I just LOL’ed for real.

  • Sharron J Kelly

    I’m guessing you didn’t notice that GomerBlog is a satirical blog?

  • Everhope

    I really don’t know how to react. I think I’m splitting a gut.

  • Janene Almerico

    Also lost or stolen, forgotten at the bus stop.

  • Michelle Bachman

    LOL fish asking for something that start with a D. LMAO

  • Keith Pochick

    After I get my Percocets filled, I hide them all in my duodenum. You know, to prevent theft and loss.

  • Storm Hawk Rising

    “All my pills were stolen.”
    “But you just handed me full bottles of HCTZ, Neurontin, Haldol, Metformin, and Synthroid.”
    “They didn’t take those. See, here are the empty bottles of Xanax, MS-Contin, Adderall, and Percocet.”
    “They are empty bottles with someone else’s name on them.”
    “My friends gave me those, I lost my original bottles. They got stolen too.”

  • Saqib Nakadar

    They might jus be a little less coordinated just like an alcoholic on heroine would be. Quantatative urinalysis is the next phase in ensuring the meds are taken.

  • Terri Branham

    A toilet can’t produce a police report

  • Tim Howard

    Very funny. True but funny.

  • Colleen Carroll

    Ha! Kathy Supple Paula Petersen

  • Diane Rolfsmeyer

    Ok my dog did eat mine once…I had to induce vomiting and send the pic to my doc, not pretty

  • Shawn Brooks-Lockhart

    Ok, I just noticed that this is “medical satire” as indicated above. LOVE it, because…well…pretty much right on with the excuses. Makes it harder for us that truly need them to actually acquire them. Even if we don’t need them often.

  • Stephen Bailey

    Haha

  • Shawn Brooks-Lockhart

    What a crap article. If that doctor doesn’t believe that his patients are lying to him about losing their meds and/or that they in fact DO lie and take up office time and ER visits to get the pills they’re taking way too much of, then he shouldn’t be practicing medicine due to extreme naivety.

  • Shawn Brooks-Lockhart

    I thought the majority of narcotics and benzos excessively fell into the mouths of those addicted to them. Weird.

  • Nancy Jean

    I always walk around the bathroom with an open bottle of opiates, despite the fact that this happens every month around the 18th, I just never learn my lesson…

  • Kim Henry Andrews

    Haven’t even read it yet & I’m laughing!

  • Nancy Jean

    Michael Berk Wesley Irish Michael J. McCoy mmmmhmm

  • Karen Reiter

    Love it! I agree, never are BP meds lost or flushed. Get a brain!!

  • Stephanie Hassoun Shea

    An important study,
    Indeed.

  • Sarah Harrington

    My work wastes all narcotics by flushing them down the toilet

  • Bill Moore

    This report is flawed. They haven’t begun to take into account high number of patients’ narcotics and benzos that are stolen each day. These larcenies occur without warning or logic and are almost always never reported to law enforcement. It is estimated that the total number of narcotics and benzos mysteriously stolen each year is equal or greater to the number of homework papers eaten by the dog.

  • Brigitte Jean Kelly

    Absolute mystery!! ;>

  • Jen Kephart

    Oh yeah, it’s NEVER the pills for ” the sugar” or “the ‘ tension ” !!!

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