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PENDELTON, IN – Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home patient, Onis McBurgrontree of Pendleton, IN.  With his right index finger firmly implanted in the patient’s rectum, Dr. Henderson remembered the days of hard work and sleepless nights while in the pre-med program at Indiana University.  “I had a 4.0,” he could be heard whispering under his breath, while gradually removing the dry, clay-like fecal material.

em physician
“4.0 GPA, a top medical school… now this”

For a brief moment, a smile was seen on his face when reminiscing about his acceptance letter into medical school nearly 20 years prior.  The smile soon faded when the entrapped gas from Mr. McBurgontree’s colon escaped into the ambient atmosphere and Dr. Henderson realized that he was in room 15 of the ED.

Upon delivery of the 3-lb. stool, Dr. Henderson removed his gloves and began wiping away a small tear from his right eye.  Next he was handed a chart to begin assessing his next patient for a chief complaint of “left eyebrow pain for 10 minutes.”

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