anesthesia resident
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NEW YORK, NY – John Silk, a fourth-year anesthesiology resident at State Medical Hospital in New York, will now have his name immortalized in the annals of technological achievement with greats such as Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Al Gore, by becoming the first person in history to have seen and read every website on the internet, over 600 million pages.

anesthesia resident
“It took a lot of clicking and free time, but I did it!”

When asked how he could have possibly completed this illustrious feat, Dr. Silk explains, “My plastic surgery rotation had been going pretty well, but it did seem like I was being assigned a lot of free flap cases.  After my lunch break I had found myself exploring a website dedicated to pictures of guilty dogs.”  What happened next was truly astonishing.

After clicking a link to a website featuring the world’s grumpiest cat and wondering if he had actually already visited the site earlier in the case, a blue screen popped up with a disclaimer stating that he had viewed every piece of information on the internet.  Dr. Silk explains, “I really had no idea what to do on the computer so I just logged off!”  At that point, Dr. Silk took out his smartphone and began to play Candy Crush Saga until the case finished.

This is not the first time an anesthesiology resident has been able to accomplish an amazing feat of dedication and persistence while working in the operating room.  Last year while providing anesthesia for an emergency finger reattachment, Reuben Goldberg, a third year at Philadelphia County Hospital, was able to construct a fifty-seven step machine in the OR which would automatically chart in 15 minute intervals that the patient was in normal sinus rhythm and that their eyes were indeed still taped.

When asked what he would do now that he had seen the entire internet Dr. Dickerson was befuddled, particularly with a bilateral TRAM flaps scheduled for the following day.  “I suppose I can try to log on to the deep web, hopefully there will be a lot more websites I can check out.”  Whatever Dr. Silk decides, the future looks bright for the young web surfer.

UPDATE:
John Silk is currently under suspension from State Medical University Anesthesia Residency and under FBI investigation for trading nitrous oxide filled balloons for bitcoins.  GomerBlog will continue to follow and post updates as the story unfolds.

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  • Gomerblog

    Nailed it

  • Joshua Vize

    That’s hilarious!

    To all those appalled by this: your absolutely right. We’ll just make the anesthetist stare intensely at a sinus cardiac waveform for 14 hours.

  • Gabriel Rice

    #goals

  • Elizabeth Gall Karns

    Satire website. Not an actual story.

  • Laura Enqvist

    Antti Laine

  • Gihan Jayasinghe

    Daniel Walker can you top this?!

  • Caroline Reinke

    Erik Quilty, are YOU done with the internet yet? Haha

  • Julie Stevens

    Rich Ross

  • Kathryn Rondeau

    Haha….try scrubbing one!

  • Ani Patel

    Leena Shah

  • Carmen Morrell

    Nathan Schaefer

  • Eliza Doneley

    I had better get reading!

  • Anna Marion

    Eliza Doneley

  • Anna Marion

    Nic Gerbanas

  • Faith Claire Hill

    Lol the end addit

  • Torben Kvist

    Jonas Halfdan Ry Hessler: lånte han dit gamle udprint af internettet?

  • Gergana Miteva

    :D

  • James Anderson

    Monitoring should not interfere with reading and surfing!

  • Jason Du Plessis

    Karyll Mae San Pedro Taryn Thompson

  • Jason Du Plessis

    Karyll Mae San Pedro Taryn Thompson

  • Bethine Merson Powell

    OMG….. Are you REALLY taking this seriously? LOL, you’ve lost your sense of humor.

  • Michelle Stewart

    He should be fired. Tired of people not watching and taking care of their patients in the OR.

  • Richard Wain

    Surely this is BS

  • Stephanie Jensen

    Christopher Palombo

  • Caitlin Griffiths

    Ben Cosway

  • Sarah Lun

    challenge accepted!

  • Andrèa Migneault

    Wow imagine!!

  • Susan Shafik

    Sobi Mallick hahahaha

  • Smita Palit

    Suthan Sundaram Prateek Bando Vikram Palit

  • Michael Angsuwat

    Lawl

  • Ruth Lynn Gordon

    Its a joke…sheesh

  • Ruth Lynn Gordon

    Its a joke….sheesh

  • Laura Kate

    Aimee Smith Mal Dias

  • Osama Zahriya

    Christina Yi

  • Judi Gourdeau

    And then he admits he played candy crush? really?

  • Emerald Setbo

    Katie-beth Webster

  • Andrea Leigh Camp

    I just want the surgery

  • Deb Rusy

    Del Mount Sam Poore

  • Candace Equality Caldwell

    O.o

  • Jonathan Boley
  • Andrea Noëlle Alliette

    Rahul Seth

  • David Andrew

    We had one do his share portfolio when doing cases. When the Market crashed he informed us he could no longer afford to buy a helicopter. Not a tear was shed.

  • Ann Hau Plater

    Semhar G Olubunmi

  • Kathleen Bylsma

    Originally from “House Of God”, if I’m not mistaken. Great book published in the 70s about the inner workings of hospitals/interning…

  • Michelle D. Burke

    That’s awesome

  • Arnaz Ensani

    Ansh Khanna

  • Whitney Lee Alley

    Then they are stupid.. Gomer is an acronym that stands for “get out of my ER”… Always has been a medical field joke …always

  • Whitney Lee Alley

    S a t I r e….look it up oh believer of the Internet

  • David Argisht

    Sherry Bhowra

  • Yassi Nasio

    lol (point missed)

  • Serine Mkrtchyan

    still there are people who does not understand what satira is or what this website is about.

  • Caroline Donovan Anderson

    Shannon Kerr

  • Evonne Westerfield

    When I was in nursing school, during a clinical rotation in the OR, the Anesthesiologist was reading a paperback novel during surgery …
    I have never forgotten that.

  • Patrick Bakke

    No such thing as a free flap, someone always pays….

  • Jackie Geraghty

    This is a satire website…

  • Michael Landgraf

    This dude needs a job with LESS responsibility… Pt first! Embarrassment to the profession

  • Saad Mohammad

    This article is a joke. Also known as “satire”

  • Renee Cannon Smith

    Wow. That’s kind of scary. Am I wrong or is he supposed to be monitoring the patient.

  • Ashleigh Witt

    Michael Angsuwat

  • Nate Schneider

    Curtis Nathan

  • Stéphane Ouattara

    Sarah Lun

  • Marehan Nakhnoukh

    Salima Hasham lol I despise free flaps

  • Brandon Davis

    Major Cunningham

  • Brandon Davis

    Major Cunningham

  • Caroline Herron

    Laura Kearney
    Natalie Jumper

  • Caroline Herron

    Laura Kearney
    Natalie Jumper

  • Bethine Merson Powell

    Kim Ezell….thought you’d like this one

  • Bethine Merson Powell

    Kim Ezell….thought you’d like this one

  • Ilona Parks

    Hahahahaha

  • Ilona Parks

    Hahahahaha

  • Daniel Turner

    Nick Aroney

  • Daniel Turner

    Nick Aroney

  • Johnny Utah III

    Dr Silk must look at a lot of Porn.

  • Johnny Utah III

    Dr Silk must look at a lot of Porn.

  • Katie Honz

    Shannon Wong

  • Katie Honz

    Shannon Wong

  • Marie Mahler

    Priceless!

  • Tobey Beagle

    Joel Klunke Jason Kobler

  • Anton Mou

    Penelope

  • Lora Ann Cullipher

    Where’s that surgical time predictor app when you need it?

  • Dave Schwabacher

    Sometimes you don’t need to read the article….

  • Andrew Choong

    Adam Sawyer, Mo Akhavani. Mount Vernon days…

  • Jesse Herrera

    Ross M Cowan Matthew Pagliaro
    Abby Jones. Cassi Mogford

  • Jayy Cee

    Sounds like the Bar has been set

  • Lisa Meyers Salzenstein

    Lol! Ironic!

  • Laine Wolverton Embrey

    Lisa Meyers Salzenstein weren’t we just talking about this? ;)

  • Rina Savage

    Eavan O’Brien Luke Watson

  • Eric Knott

    Angelica Delgado

  • Josh Conroy

    Raphael Weidenfeld

  • Penelope Benny-José

    AND they finished their Giant Book of Sudoku

  • Emma Sganzerla

    Stephen Dick

  • Oliver Morgan

    Beccy Binks

  • James Roy

    John Roy

  • Shmur Shah

    Barney Arnie Abarni

  • Je Suis Elie

    Frederick Leonard Abraham

  • Sofi Lazar

    Ida Li Colin Caverly

    Life goals

  • Janet Shaw

    Matt Cronin

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49.7K Shares