NEW YORK, NY – Have you ever groaned because someone checked a troponin on a patient without chest pain or shortness of breath and, of course, it was elevated? A new study in the New England Journal of Troponins (NEJT) revealed that 99% of health care practitioners are walking around with some kind of troponin leak, further supporting that pretty much anything can cause it.
“Our healthcare practitioners have some pretty wonky troponins from work alone,” said lead researcher and cardiologist Catherine Hart. “I’m pretty sure I have a mild troponin leak when I get a consulted about a mild troponin leak.” She did; it was 0.11.
In the NEJT study, researchers checked troponins on health care practitioners at multiple points during their work day. Dehydration, forgetting to eat or pee, drinking coffee, having a bowel movement, hearing a request for Dilaudid, and hearing a pain score greater than 10 were common reasons for a health care practitioner to develop a leak.
“In fact, we found that a patient’s pain score divided by 100 equals their health care practitioner’s troponin level,” commented Hart, whose troponin was now 0.08.
The pager was the number one cause of troponin leaks, as well as seizures, migraines, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), in health care practitioners who carried them. Medical students saw high troponins due to pimping. Radiologists, microbiologists, and nocturnists developed troponin elevations in response to sunlight.
Endless documentation is another common cause of leaks.
“For those with electronic health records, staring at a computer bumps your troponin, typing bumps your troponin, and double-clicking bumps your troponin,” added Hart, whose troponin is now 0.07. “For those with paper charts, handwriting causes troponin leaks, paper cuts cause troponin leaks, and putting the chart back in the cubby causes a troponin leak.”
Despite these study findings, Hart still cautions that there is always a time and a place when it is appropriate to check troponins.
“Of course, a classic chest pain story is one scenario,” explained Hart, who is now NPO for a stress test in the morning. “The other scenario relates to our hardworking health care personnel in the trenches. If that book of delivery menus goes missing, check an ECG and check a troponin right away! TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!”
I’m sure it will be elevated!!
I’m sure it will be elevated!!
Lindsay Andy
Lindsay Andy
Gail , think ours will be elevated after this full moon weekend?
Gail , think ours will be elevated after this full moon weekend?
Hey, I’ve had so many heart attacks at work that I probably function on collaterals by now!
Hey, I’ve had so many heart attacks at work that I probably function on collaterals by now!
Don’t forget the verbal read back
Don’t forget the verbal read back
Finding out I have the open bed- instant leak!
Finding out I have the open bed- instant leak!
Dr Oz causes full bore gushes.
Dr Oz causes full bore gushes.
True story: Got a call from lab about a “critical” troponin of 0.03, followed by another call 60 seconds later informing me that the confirmation test read the level at 0.02, so I could disregard the prior “critical” result. There’s my 10/10 ass pain: responding to these phone calls for “critical” troponin results.
True story: Got a call from lab about a “critical” troponin of 0.03, followed by another call 60 seconds later informing me that the confirmation test read the level at 0.02, so I could disregard the prior “critical” result. There’s my 10/10 ass pain: responding to these phone calls for “critical” troponin results.
Kevin
Kevin
I bet I go into A. Flutter atleast once a shift
I bet I go into A. Flutter atleast once a shift
What about causing one’s aneurysm to throb? When a surgeon tells me that they’ve been using the henweigh every day for the last 15 years and why isn’t it on the field, it makes my aneurysm grow a tiny bit more and throb.
What about causing one’s aneurysm to throb? When a surgeon tells me that they’ve been using the henweigh every day for the last 15 years and why isn’t it on the field, it makes my aneurysm grow a tiny bit more and throb.
Kris Simon Katie Torrance
Kris Simon Katie Torrance
Sad, but true.
Sad, but true.
Brandon – satire site but funny.
Brandon – satire site but funny.
Do depends work for trop leaks too Kelley Hughes Reep
Gina Risty, Billie Jo Grieve
The number of people who make a big deal of a troponin of 0.01 is too damn high!
I get ten out of ten ass pain.
Talk to your doctor if you suffer from troponin leaks in embarrassing situations.
Or at least slight poop leaks!!
Definitely the pager! Pretty sure I get a little twinge of chest pain on that one, too.
Oddly, most hospital and insurance executives are incapable of Troponin leak
Hahahahah
Eric Johnson –hourly
Please I wpuld be a stemi
Susan Jo this explains it all
A must!!
I must , at least twice per day Melva Bosquez-Pena
Word!
Is that anything like a gas leak ..
Tara Grady
Stephen L. Sigal thought you might enjoy this one!
Maria Lisa Bahahaha!!!
Truth