BOCA RATON, FL – The hospital staff at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Ratón Community Hospital have spent the last four hours debating whether the unidentified liquid left in a cup at the central nursing station is urine-colored tea or tea-colored urine.
“I’ve cross-checked the liquid appearance with the urine in the Foley bags on this floor, and we’ve narrowed it down to 7 patients who have been pretty dry,” said staff Urologist Richard Kutt. “Alternatively, this could be somebody’s tepid leftover tea. Right now it’s a toss-up.”
The hospital administration, in an attempt to identify the fluid source and thereby isolate the culprit, offered a free official hospital pen to any staff member willing to taste-test the fluid. “It’s critical for us to figure out whose paycheck to dock for this violation. We have been on high alert since the incident at a sister hospital when an open soda can at the nursing station left several people dead,” emphasized hospital administrator Chlöe Less. “We’re even offering a free lozenge chaser after the volunteer sips the liquid!”
Since this case was classified as “non-surgical” it was of course dumped on the hospitalist service with a STAT overhead page.
“I called Nephrology and he told me to spin the sample and check the electrolytes in the possible urine,” said the exasperated on-call hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, MD, JD, MBA. “But I was blocked from sending a sample to pathology since the specimen didn’t have a patient label. I really don’t know what to do now.”
At press time, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was strongly considering taking the taste test to avoid getting saddled with another cut in his salary. “After all, I need a new pen, and it’s not everyday that you can get a free lozenge without a doctor’s order at 3:01 AM.”
Furthermore, hospital administrators plan on assigning a patient satisfaction survey to be filled out by the cup.
Bonnie your nurses week free drink! :-P
I always wanted to use a urinal for my drink lol.
BAHAHHAH
The commentary is great.
The commentary is great.
Urine would most likely not be in this kind of container.
Gunilla Haydon
Oh dear….it could be either. Do a sniff test!
The sun tea system never fails
I have never seen tea in this kind of cup !!
It’s not mine, must be urine.
Just dip it. Tea doesn’t have leukocytes.
When in doubt, Always assume it’s a bodily fluid…
Give it the taste test.
Dang open container. That’s really the issue.
Rhabdo….we would never keep a drink at the nurses station!!! Dehydration all the way!!!
Apparently, we do this way too often.
Thanks, Alyssa Treat….I would say urine. We get some specimens that look like tea but most look like apple juice.
Jenny Codding Tina Wilson Hughes
Michelle Hayes
That why just keep drinks in their original containers. Lol.
Especially tough if the urine is from a diabetic.
I’m betting someone fails the drug test with that sample
Jocelyn Okoro
Urine trouble!
Is it a pediatric floor ?
Of course! ! Lol!
Haha! Remember the bedpan Shannon Colleen Dunigan??? That was some funny shit!!
I made tea in one many a time!
dipstick
<<<<<<<that guy who's gonna smell it.
Phillip Workman Lauri Traver
Smell it–
Shea Duncan Beam
When I first started nursing a lot of my co-workers would drink tea/water out of a clean measuring triangle. I could never get over the thought of what that was used for to drink out of one! Lol
They’re going to be in a lot of trouble if it’s tea.
Love the urologist name “Richard Kutt”
Has this hospital pen been checked to see if it works? Or is just designed to blow up in a pocket.
Exactly. We hide our drinks in the drawer. ;-}
Someone’s got rhabdo!
It has to be urine. We don’t keep drinks at the station. JCAHO says so.
Gives it a taste!
Careful when it’s red