Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor

46K Shares

couple kissing

Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom.


Emergency Medicine

Go skydiving to get the adrenaline going.  Speed home.  Once there, run upstairs and cut off each other’s clothes with trauma shears.  Now naked, tell him EXACTLY what brought you into the bedroom.  (Hint: His bulging biceps… not something that you love about him from ages ago.)  Have great sex.  Repeat.

General Surgery

Turn the air conditioner to 50 degrees.  Turn on her favorite music.  Play strip Jenga.  Everytime she moves a block successfully, you take off an item of clothes and vice versa.  (Hint: Do not count on her being unsuccessful.  She has a Very.  Steady.  Hand.)  Get naked.  Have great sex.  Recover.

Dermatology

Three words: Erotic sunscreen massage.  Nothing gets a derm hotter than the correct application of sunscreen.  Then how about a couple’s sexy mole check?  Have great sex and follow-up weekly.

Radiology

Turn out the lights.  Turn on the soft, sexy blue glow of an iPad.  Ask about his stocks, investments, and Clash of Clans level.  Have great sex.  Report back.

Internal Medicine

Create a sexy mystery hunt in your house.  At every clue, make your internal medicine physician answer no less than 14 questions about you.  She will answer each question calmly and completely; incredibly attractive!  When she finally makes it to the bedroom, be waiting there naked as her reward.  Have great sex.  Feel accomplished.

OB/GYN

This one is pretty simple.  Just be ANYTHING but hormonal, pregnant, or menopausal and you will have great sex.  Period.

Anesthesiology

Try giving these mathletes a chance to strut their stuff by asking them to add, subtract, or multiply large numbers throughout the day.  Oooh and aaah over their quick answers.  Later on, you can stroke their ego even more by telling them they can examine any part of your body below the neck.  (Hint: This is uncharted territory for our anesthesiologist friends, so don’t be surprised if they have questions.)  Have great sex.  Sleep soundly.

Orthopedic Surgery

Wear his lettered high-school football jacket with nothing underneath and challenge him to a push-up contest.  (For added arousal, agree to watch his favorite Superbowl re-run from 1997.)  Do some physical therapy stretching exercises, per his suggestion, have great sex, and then call and thank him because you are now running sub 6-minute mile due to his perfect sex prowess.

***UPDATES FROM GB, FANS, and FRIENDS***

ENT – Pull out your microscopes on this one, ENT surgeons love closeups..of anything!.  They also love to scoop out tonsils during passionate kissing, so grab some ice cream and go to town!  They love to fork.  Take that tuning fork and weber the Sh** out of them.

FAMILY MEDICINE – Roller skates.  Family Medicine physicians move fast, they have to, so you have to keep up with them.  Bring them a list of all of your hobbies, interests, previous girlfriends/boyfriends, food preferences, and pacer card and they will love you for it.

PATHOLOGY – Nothing gets steamier than discussing the quality of embalming fluid and where to put it.  Turn the temperature down as Pathologists love to do it in cold dark places, preferably in basements, on metal.

PEDIATRICS – It is all about how long you can last in Timeout..the longer the better.  Make sure your immunizations are uptodate as that would be the ultimate buzz kill if they aren’t. Set the mood with bilirubin lights.

PSYCHIATRY – Don’t say a word, except for maybe DSM.  Psychiatrists are so tired of hearing people everyday at work.  Just start kissing them, whisper DSM in their ear, and hold on for the ride.

CARDIOLOGY – Lather up the ultrasound machine and drive it all over their chest with lots of ultrasound goo, yelling out “look at that regurg” or “damn I want to cath that”.

GASTROENTEROLOGY – We got nothing on these guys.  Good luck!

HOSPITALIST – Punch them all over their body.  They love to feel pain, repetitively, just as they feel when getting 6 ER hits at the same time and dumped on by everyone.   Don’t be surprised if they leave quickly in the morning as they are very keen on discharging.

OPHTHALMOLOGIST –   Blow in their eye.  Play naked laser tag while wearing glasses. After sex ask them who was better, 1(you) or 2(last person).

NEPHROLOGIST – Don’t box them in.  Water them profusely.  Don’t give them too many bananas to eat as they hate high potassium.

NEUROLOGIST – They are fantastic at finding the right place to touch, but they just don’t know what to do when they find it.  Help then.  Move their hands and show them what to do.

VASCULAR SURGEON – Always recommend taking the bypass to get to your place.  Play loud static in the background with “swooshing” sounds.

UROLOGIST – Have a good scaping.  Tell a joke related to a penis.  Have sex.

 

Much appreciation to the author of this post!  She is a sexual health educator and consultant.  Check out her website below!

Celeste Holbrook, PhD
Sexual Health Consultant and Educator

SHARE