SILVER SPRING, MD – Nurses, it’s time to rejoice! The American Nurses Association (ANA) has officially declared today National Destroy Your Pyxis with a Sledgehammer Day!
“Nurses, report to your closest Pyxis machine!!!” announced the CEO of the ANA Marla Weston, PhD, RN, FAAN. “We will be deploying sledgehammers to each of our 3 million-plus nurses throughout the country. When you have received it, let your Pyxis have it.”
To the delight of nurses across the country, sledgehammers will neither be dispensed through a Pyxis nor scanned prior to use. No other nurses need to double-check your work or perform a sledgehammer count. Just grab and go.
Another plus: no patient wristbands need to be scanned either.
“It’s a love-hate relationship between nurses and the Pyxis machine though it’s skewed 100% towards hate,” said charge nurse Erica Stanton. She takes a few practice swings with her 10-lb. Stanley sledgehammer. She also brought a Thor-like hammer club for good measure. “I’ve been waiting for this day!”
Nurses will tell you that they don’t enjoy waiting on a line full of other nurses and techs waiting to access the Pyxis, especially if a patient is crashing. But on National Destroy Your Pyxis with a Sledgehammer Day, nurses are more than happy to wait their turn. Undoubtedly, there will be long lines at Pyxis machines nationwide. And they’re okay with that.
Weston reminded all nurses: “Please don’t forget eye safety. Wear goggles.” Patients and other health care providers have been provided earmuffs, in case the loud destruction of Pyxis machines gets disruptive.
Like her peers, Stanton gets frustrated by all the scanning and checking and rescanning and swiping, calling it “beyond redundant.” It was now Stanton’s turn. “I’m gonna swipe the sh*t outta that blasted machine! Someone press Play!!!” Right on queue, an iPad by the Pyxis machine started playing Peter Gabriel’s 1986 hit, “Sledgehammer.” Skillfully wielding her weapon, Stanton released all of her Pyxis frustrations in one fatal blow. It was a thing of beauty!
So the next question nurses have for the ANA: When is National Unplug Your Patient’s Call Light Day?!