|Ad text||Actual meaning|
|Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital||
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will be coming out of your paycheck.
|Prestigious university affiliation||
We paid dearly for that, too (also coming out of your paycheck). Don’t expect to get any “protected time,” either.
|Up to $500,000 guaranteed base salary||
That’s if you work your butt off and generate 10,000 wRVUs per year. Otherwise, you’re getting minimum wage.
|Comprehensive service line||We have a lot of mouths to feed here!|
|Integrative medicine approach||
Better play nice with the quacktors if you want to keep your job.
|Join highly respected and busy providers in a fast-paced highly reputable Center of Excellence||
They just lifted our probationary status. Did we mention that you are going to work your butt off?
|Strong economy with low unemployment||
All of your patients work at Wal-Mart, and Medicaid is the major payor.
|Plethora of outdoor activities. Experience all 4 seasons!||
No cultural activities. Freezing cold winters and brutal, humid summers. Ever spend a summer in Chicago or St. Louis without AC?
|Catchment area of 1,000,000!||
Six other medical centers are competing with us for patients.
|Just 2 hours from a major metropolitan area!||
That’s 2 ½ hours when the traffic is light, and 3 ½ hours the rest of the time. Don’t worry–you won’t have time to go.
|Low cost of living||
Nobody else wants to live here.
You’ll need an interpreter for most of the visits.