LAS VEGAS, NV – Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently. Diagnosis: Butthurt. That’s right, butthurt in the mental sense, not physical. The magnitude of the butthurt epidemic has been propelled by Healthcare 3.0 leader and off-white medical satire rapper, ZDoggMD, who recently has been crushing it and causing butthurt everywhere while leaving a trail of destruction and pure awesomeness.
Emergency medicine physicians have been left with no good ICD-10 code to input for the influx of butthurt by ZDoggMD patients, that is until now. A supplemental modifier “Butthurt by ZDoggMD” ICD10 code was just created by the World Health Organization (WHO) to meet this new disease and to help code more appropriately for reimbursement for the utter devastation of the disease and utilization of medical resources caused by this distinct form of butthurt.
“This isn’t the typical butthurt that we are used to treating,” stated emergency medicine physician Dr. Erin Malcolm. “For typical butthurt we usually just have one of our nurses or social workers talk to the patient and they can be discharged. These ZDoggMD butthurt patients are all needing admission, medications, sitters, ECTs, along with multiple cognitive behavioral therapy sessions. It is really intense!”
Another unique characteristic of the ZDoggMD butthurt is “Butthurt by proxy.” The penetration of butthurt is so powerful that it can even affect people who shouldn’t be butthurt by certain statements, but develop butthurt by proxy for someone else who could theoretically be hurt.
“To be able to induce butthurt by proxy is something we have never seen and it is quite scary,” proclaimed CDC spokesman Dr. Terry Wyatt. “This type of butthurt is very difficult to contain and with social media these days, we may not be able to stop it. My only advice to possible victims is to prepare for intense butthurt and seek medical attention for… who am I kidding, Man UP and DEAL with it! ZDoggMD 4 Life baby!”