BOCA RATON, FL – An elite HIPAA Stormtrooper unit raided Madre De Díos Hospital when it was alerted that a nurse had left a chart open in the nurses station when she ran to a patient’s room to respond to an emergency. The HIPAA Stormtroopers killed 48 people, mostly health care workers, and managed to secure the chart.
Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was on duty in the dying patient’s room when he called a Code Blue, only to hear sporadic gunfire from the nurses station shortly thereafter. “I was asking the nurse to help administer epinephrine when the walls suddenly got sprayed with bullets,” he explained. “I realized that we were dealing with HIPAA Stormtroopers when I spotted a HIPAA Sniper posted on the roof of the building across the street.”
HIPAA Stormtrooper Commander Oliver South released a statement saying that “while the murder of 48 health care workers might be considered troubling to some people, it was a necessary evil in our neverending quest to better secure the private information of patients.”
Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, however, thinks that this mass shooting could possibly have some negative ramifications. “For example, I was trying to talk to a staff cardiologist about the care of a patient we both share. But when I mentioned the patient by name, he suddenly panicked and sprinted away from me while accusing me of being wired for HIPAA.”