SACRAMENTO, CA – When Nurse Shannon came to work today, she was assigned to only one admit. “Are we slow?” Shannon thought as to refrain from saying such horrid words aloud. APRIL FOOLS! Her nursing manager got Shannon good. Turns out that one patient was conjoined quadruplets. Not only did she have 4 different patients for the price of one, she was first on the list to get a new admit.
To make matters more complicated, one of the quadruplets that supplied a heart for 2 of the quadruplets was DNR/DNI, and the rest were FULL CODE!!! “What do we do?” she asked her manager. “If #3 goes into cardiac arrest she will bring down #2 and #4 but they are Full Code, where #3 is DNR/DNI.”
Then to really get complicated #2 doesn’t have insurance so Nurse Shannon will have to give all IV drugs to the quadruplet on the right because she shares a heart with her but oral meds with #1 because they share a GI tract.
“Do they get 4 call lights? Will there be 4 separate plan-of-the-days or 1?” After check out Shannon was heard wishing for 4 separate patients.
At press time Nurse Shannon was unavailable because she was delivering 4 turkey sandwiches.