DENVER, CO – Chipotle admittedly had a rough 2016 but was surprised to see its customers stay loyal to the brand. Realizing they can really get away with anything, Chipotle has released its new foodborne-illness menu, advertising that it is “Reasonably Contagious.” Gomerblog has tried them all and we can say, equivocally, that you will become best friends with your toilet. Though they have not yet released a formal statement, expect the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to recommend, at the bare minimum, to don airborne and contact precautions when entering the beloved taco-and-burrito chain. Here’s the new menu (click each picture to enlarge):