CONEY ISLAND, NY – Less than 24 hours away from the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest on the Coney Island boardwalk, Mount Sinai cardiologist Maxine Richter is absolutely giddy with emotion as she cannot wait to cath the winner of tomorrow’s event.
“I truly believe that this year someone will break Joey Chestnut’s current record of 70 hot dogs,” Richter told Gomerblog. She is too revved up to sleep. “And I look forward and will be tremendously honored to unblock the winner’s deserving coronaries.”
Richter has been throwing her annual Post-Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest Left-Heart Catheterization for the past decade but to much less fanfare. “I don’t really want the attention, though it would be kind of fun to see how many coronary arteries I can unblock in 10 minutes.”
Richter has performed several balloon angioplasties and stent placements on past winners Joey Chestnut, Matt Stonie, and Takeru Kobayashi, all of whom have been relegated to a lifelong regimen of aspirin, Plavix, and high-dose atorvastatin.
“I really think 2017 is going to be something special,” Richter admitted, adding that the cath lab will be ready for activation seconds after the trophy ceremony. “This might be the year I extract a whole wiener out of the winner’s left main coronary, hot dog bun completely in tact. How cool would that be?”