TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening in Ms. Abby Nermal. “When she introduced herself to me as ‘not a complainer’ and someone with a ‘high pain tolerance,’ I thought to myself, ‘Here we go again.”
Despite being allergic to Demerol, Tylenol, Percocet but not oxycodone, shellfish, unshelledfish, tramadol, all essential oils except purple ones, epinephrine and IV medications ‘except the one that starts with D,’ Nermal maintained a stoic and balanced demeanor throughout her 3-hour stay in the ER despite having bone extruding from her thigh.
“She never once reported a single pain score above 5/10. Usually the pain score starts at double the number of allergies, so I figured her for a 14/10 at least with a hangnail, for an open femur fracture I was expecting 130/10 or better,” said bewildered ER Nurse Florence Dayengale RN, BSN, BLS, ACLS, PALS, GED, CCRN, GTFOOH.
Nermal was taken to the operating room with noted local orthopod and biceps aficionado, Dr. Brock Hammersley, to surgery to clean and repair her bones. Hammersley said he had never experienced a patient with so many allergies before. “She was allergic to all the meds I know of except for Ancef, which scared me… and I don’t scare easily. Thankfully she needed Ancef. I consulted IM to do her H&P as well as to come up with a pain med she’s not allergic to.”
After surgery, the patient’s number of allergies and her narrative about her astonishing pain tolerance also alarmed Nermal’s ward nurses. However as in the ER, she never reported a pain score above 5 and actually filled out a positive comment card after discharge. The University of Kansas attempted to contact Nermal to study her, however she is yet to return their calls.