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BIRMINGHAM, AL – Having concluded that the doling out of clinical pearls to new University of Alabama Hospital interns in need of wisdom has led to a diminished supply, internal medicine attending Orlando Jones is back on the Alabama coastline shucking clinical oysters hoping to replenish those stocks.

clinical oysters clinical pearls
“Damn, no clinical pearls in this one”

Clinical pearls don’t materialize out of nowhere,” said Jones as he skillfully opens another clinical oyster with his clinical oyster knife, “you have find them in these guys.”  This particular clinical oyster didn’t contain what he wanted, but he remains patient, enjoying the process.  He whistles and soaks in the sun rays, the cool breeze.  “You maybe get one clinical pearl for every few hundred clinical oysters you shuck.”

Jones is currently shucking oysters on Dauphin Island in Alabama, his favorite spot to find clinical pearls.  If you don’t find him here, you can usually find him at the clinical oyster ranges at Murder Point or Massacre Island.  Jones believes the finest clinical pearls and teaching points can be found right here.

Jones remembers a lesson he has since never forgotten from shucking a clinical oyster in 2015.

“I opened one of them,” he explained, reliving the moment, “and there was not only a beautiful clinical pearl inside but the clinical oyster meat looked quite good.  I made the mistake of letting it sit in the sun too long, not putting it on ice.  I got infected with Vibrio.  So that’s one clinical pearl I always teach my interns: infections associated with the consumption of raw oysters.”

How many clinical pearls is he looking for?

“If I can find maybe ten more, I can probably make those last for a good month or two,” Jones told Gomerblog.  “If I get lucky and find more than that, I’ll plan to make a clinical pearl neckless for my wife.”

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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