ANCHORAGE, AK – In a rare instance of frustration, a fuming bald eagle agitatedly paced up and down the branch of a Sitka spruce as he confided to Gomerblog how he still can’t believe Rogaine (minoxidil) didn’t do a thing for him.

“Ugh, Rogaine shmogaine,” the bald eagle said assessing his own head in a mirror, obviously disgusted he looks exactly the same since first using the product 12 months ago.  “Look at me, just look at me!  Still bald!  Still a bald f**king eagle!  Damn it to hell, Rogaine’s the worst.”

The bald eagle isn’t sure what to do next.

“I don’t know, right now I don’t even want to think about it,” he continued, sort of resigned, though he hasn’t ruled out the possibility of calling to get a refund.  “Whenever I’m frustrated, I just eat myself silly.”  The bald eagle excused himself.  “F**k it, time to hunt for some rabbits, squirrels, and prairie dogs, get my mind off things.  Want some?”