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DELTA 1449 – In response to a medical emergency brought to his attention by flight attendants, Delta pilot Jack Wilson has just asked on the cabin’s overhead speaker system “if there is a medical student on board to please ring the call light.”

pilot med student
“Not, not a doctor, I want a med student”

Wait… what?

“Well, there’s no other way to put it: that’s weird,” explained baffled emergency physician attending Amanda Thompson who happens to be on board Delta 1449 heading from San Francisco (SFO) to Atlanta (ATL).  “I told one of the flight attendants that I was an emergency medicine attending and could offer to help, but he respectfully declined.  He said, ‘No, the captain specifically asked for a medical student, but thank you anyway.  Can I help you with anything else?’”

Over the past year, Jack Wilson has been the center of a few too many medical controversies considering he is not a health care professional.  First, he asked for medicine to clear his plane for landing and just recently he responded to an overhead announcement in a hospital asking if there was a pilot on board.

Further investigation by Gomerblog revealed row 12 seats A, B, and C feature three other physicians: a cardiologist, a critical care fellow, and a hospitalist.

“We’re trying to brainstorm why the pilot is asking specifically a medical student,” said critical care fellow Ryan Andrews on behalf of his row.  “We offered our help as well, but the flight attendants insisted that our services would not be necessary for this particular emergency.  What ‘particularly emergency’ could this be?!”

To make matters worse, there was a medical student on this flight to answer the call: Karen Weaselsnout-Jones.  Yes, that same Weaselsnout-Jones who likes to pipe up about random nonsense like the Krebs cycle.  And get this: she happened to be wearing her scrubs and short white coat on this flight.

Very odd indeed.

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.