CHICAGO, IL – In a long overdue update to its tooth chart, the American Dental Association (ADA) has replaced the confusing system of tooth numbers with an easier to remember system of tooth emojis.

“Look, let’s all admit it, everyone – dentists and other health care professionals – find the numbering system very, very confusing, no one can remember anything,” explained ADA spokesperson Carrie Veneer. “The change was needed. This will help us all in the long run. Will I remember tooth 16? No, never did. But will I remember the tooth with the Vulcan hand gesture for “Live long and proper’? Most definitely.”

The ADA said it used “common sense” in replacing tooth 5 with a clown, tooth 9 with an American cheeseburger, tooth 17 with the Greek flag, tooth 23 with the flag of Finland, and tooth 31 with the sign of the horns (or Satan fingers).

tooth emojis
Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.