RN Relieved to Find Out That Patient’s Family Member’s Aunt is a Nurse

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HASTINGS, CA – Jenny Pasternak, an ICU nurse, was “very worried” about her shift tonight.  “I have been working as a nurse for 14 years...
drinking alcohol

Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved

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MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius.  Such is the case with Northrop...
used speculum tongue depressor

CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors

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ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...
intern thumb sucking

July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb

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ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...

Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker. Carol Whitaker, 43, of...
confused surgeon

Surgeon Discovers He’s Not God, Chaos Ensues

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MOUNTAINDALE, OR - A general surgeon at Mountaindale Memorial was shocked to discover Tuesday night that he is not God, contrary to prior belief. Dr....
ob/gyn delivery newborn

Clumsy OB/GYN Intern Fumbles a Record 11 Babies

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Ham-handed OB/GYN intern, Leanna “Butterfingers” McCoy, set a new hospital record at MetLife Medical Center yesterday with a record 11 baby...

Hospital Administrator: It’s Important to Have Work-Life Imbalance

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NEW YORK, NY - Hospital administrator Todd Williams told media today that he understands that burnout among health care practitioners is a very real...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Neck Fusion Gone Awry: Carried Away, Neurosurgeon Fuses All 206 Bones

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NASHVILLE, TN - Admitting enthusiasm got the best of her, Vanderbilt neurosurgeon Dr. Elle Hardwire got carried away with an anterior cervical discectomy and...
rash, maculopapular

Dermatologist’s Ears Bleed While Internist Describes Rash

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NEW YORK, NY - Dermatologist Felicia Randolph was fielding a consult from an internal medicine colleague Martin Ortiz, when halfway through the horrid attempt...