Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes
WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...
A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale
The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management. A new scale has been devolved...
Prior Authorization Now Requires Prior Authorization
WASHINGTON, DC - Prior authorization - the time-sink, inefficient, and soul-sucking process used by health insurance agencies to determine and eventually deny coverage for...
The Difference Between Arthropods & Orthopods
Today, we help describe the similarities and differences between two interesting creatures: arthropods and orthopods. Let’s begin!
An arthropod is an invertebrate animal with an...
Hospital Installs Shock-Paging System, Morale Soars
NORTH CAROLINA - Doctors and nurses are seeing unprecedented highs in morale and productivity three weeks after Our Lady of Perpetual Dispo Hospital installed...
Patient Admitted with Facebook Overdose
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Alice Wilkinson was admitted last night after she was found down by her roommate, convulsing next to her smartphone. Her roommate,...
Flawed Swiss Cheese Model Dropped for More Delicious Mozzarella One
SAN JOSE, CA - For years, the Swiss Cheese model has been used to explain bad outcomes in healthcare, stating that each layer of defense...
Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey...
Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life...