Patient Admitted with Life-Threatening Butthurt Exacerbation
CHICAGO, IL - "Move people, this guy's crashing!" EMTs yelled, asking everyone to get out of their way as they aggressively carried 33-year-old Alexander...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
Stryker Surgical Snacks, The Perfect OR Treat
DALLAS, TX – Stryker Surgical just released a new line bound to please every orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, CRNA, OR nurse, surgical tech, and yes,...
Mother Devastated to Learn Son’s Femur is Broken and Fractured
WILLMAR, MN - Local mother, self-proclaimed Domestic Goddess, PTA President, and Essential Oils saleswoman Hilda Larson was absolutely crushed this past week when she...
That’s Weird: Pilot Asks if There’s a Med Student on Board
DELTA 1449 - In response to a medical emergency brought to his attention by flight attendants, Delta pilot Jack Wilson has just asked on...
Nurse Suspended for Consistently Charting Respiratory Rate of 16
CHICAGO, IL - Nurse Jamie Inspira was suspended from Atlantic Memorial Hospital last week. In a report that was just made public, it was...
HIPAA Loosens Up, Just Say Whatever, Whenever, Wherever the Hell You Want
WASHINGTON, DC - Doctors, nurses, and other health care practitioners nationwide are breathing a sigh of relief this morning as government officials have loosened...
Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease
NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases." Unfortunately,...
Anesthesiologists Compare Arm Tans While Surgeon Repairs Penetrating Aortic Injury
ATLANTA, GA – As local trauma surgeon Dr. Andre Mackersie desperately tried to gain control of a massively exsanguinating abdominal aortic gunshot wound, the...
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...