troponin bump

Intern Has Mild Troponin Bump Over Patient’s Mild Troponin Bump

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NASHVILLE, TN - After seeing her patient with chest pain develop a mild troponin bump up to 0.25 on this morning's set of labs,...
hungry patient

Patient “Starving to Death” After 1 Hour NPO, Actually Starves to Death Another Hour...

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NASHVILLE, TN - At midnight, patient Eric Stephens was made "NPO after midnight."  After one hour, patient complained to his nurses and physicians, stating...
butthurt anal resection

Breaking: Anal Resection Now First-Line Treatment for Butthurt

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CHICAGO, IL - In response to an exponential increase in cases of butthurt over the past several years, the American College of Surgeons (ACS)...
orthopedic surgeon

Orthopedic Note Simply Says “Covfefe”

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SYRACUSE, NY - Last night at approximately 2 AM, an orthopedic resident on call at St. Francis Hospital dropped a post-operative check note in...
nursing diagnosis

American Nurses Association Pulls the Plug on Nursing Diagnosis

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WASHINGTON, DC - After a close 38-to-35 vote, the leaders of the American Nurses Association (ANA) voted to eliminate the nursing diagnosis from nursing...

The Days of Limitless “Allergies” Are Numbered

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WASHINGTON, DC - Americans have always enjoyed the right to have a limitless numbers of allergies, but after new CMS guidelines were approved this week,...
fire

Breaking: Interns Literally Being Thrown into the Fire

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ATLANTA, GA - For brand new interns, July 1 is the day where they often feel like they're being thrown into the fire.  For five really...
metamorphosis

The Difference Between Medical Students & Residents

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Can you tell apart a medical student and a resident? A medical student is often mistaken for a small, furry animal due to their undeniable...

Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10."  Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER...

Medical Researcher Belatedly Realizes His Paper Was Published in The Anals of Internal Medicine

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DES MOINES, IA – With dawning horror, local medical researcher Dr. Clint Malloy realized he had been mistaken to believe his recent paper was accepted...