medical consult

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1

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Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult.  What does that really mean?  In the first of...
urinary tract infection

Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
patient takes health

Breaking News: American Patient Takes Responsibility for Own Health

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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - During multidisciplinary rounds on a cardiology unit at the University of Virginia Medical Center (UVAMC), a glimmer of hope was revealed...

MMA Fighter Ronda Rousey Hired to Confront Difficult Patients

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SANTA MONICA, CA - The world’s number one pound-for-pound female mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter and current reigning Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women’s Bantamweight...
C-collar cervical collar neck brace

Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix

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BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning. "You...
troponin bump

Intern Has Mild Troponin Bump Over Patient’s Mild Troponin Bump

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NASHVILLE, TN - After seeing her patient with chest pain develop a mild troponin bump up to 0.25 on this morning's set of labs,...

Mayo Secretly Celebrates New #1 Status After Cleveland Clinic Comes Out Anti-Vax

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ROCHESTER, MN - The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus-wide party this weekend full of "Number 1" balloons and cakes that said "Mayo #1". ...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Neck Fusion Gone Awry: Carried Away, Neurosurgeon Fuses All 206 Bones

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NASHVILLE, TN - Admitting enthusiasm got the best of her, Vanderbilt neurosurgeon Dr. Elle Hardwire got carried away with an anterior cervical discectomy and...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Ortho Consults Medicine to See if It’s Spelled Orthopedics or Orthopaedics

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BOSTON, MA - Unable to settle a decades-long debate amongst themselves, orthopods at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have swallowed their pride and consulted their...
therapeutic hypothermia

Therapeutic Hypothermia Ineffective in Patients with Hypothermia

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Therapeutic hypothermia, the deliberate reduction of core body temperature to 32 to 34 degrees Celsius, was found to be ineffective and...