C-collar cervical collar neck brace

Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix

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BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning. "You...

Local Resident Physician Found in Respiratory Therapist Car’s Trunk

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GLENDALE, AZ – Resident physician, Dr. Chad Rogers, was finally found after a 2-day manhunt.  His wife states that he went to work 8 days ago...
Arrival heptopods orthopods Louise Banks

‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods

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MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival,...
drape fort iron drapes

Search & Rescue Team Saves Anesthesiologist Buried Under Drape Avalanche

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DALLAS, TX - Search and rescue operations are underway to locate anesthesiologist Kelly Doolittle in operating room (OR) 5 at Dallas Medical Center after...

Music Therapy: Gomerblog’s COVID-19 Doomsday Playlist

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One of my friends with Palliative Care started this, thank goodness... and I got obsessed with it. I think we all need this. What...

SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover

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DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of...
cheetos sign

New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain

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ANDERSON, CA - In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into...
bellies

Doctors Mandated to Rub Patients’ Bellies to Improve Patient Satisfaction Scores

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PENSACOLA, FL - In an effort to bolster patient satisfaction scores, doctors at Sacred Heart Health System have been mandated to rub patients' bellies, say...
hospital door cms

New CMS Guideline: Door-to-Dilaudid Time

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WOODLAWN, MD - Today the Center for Medical Surveys (CMS) announced a radical change to benchmarking and patient satisfaction surveys.  Realizing the opportunity to...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...