Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA. Today, at...
Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85
ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...
Resting Bitch Face Treatment
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Exciting new breakthroughs in the ongoing fight against resting bitch face (RBF) from the City of Brotherly Love. Follow @drsubbio for...
Meet CrossSh*t, The High-Intensity Bowel Program
SANTA CRUZ, CA - The founders of CrossFit Greg Glassman and Lauren Jenai have announced the creation of a new strength and conditioning program to...
Study: Average Coffee Sip-to-Sh*t Time is 29 Seconds
AUSTIN, TX - It is well-known that coffee stimulates the morning number twos in about 30% of people who drink the life-sustaining nectar. A...
Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose
ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare...
Nurse Suspended for Consistently Charting Respiratory Rate of 16
CHICAGO, IL - Nurse Jamie Inspira was suspended from Atlantic Memorial Hospital last week. In a report that was just made public, it was...
Tired Urologist Mistakes Fire Hydrant for Man with Priapism
SPRUCE PINE, NC - "Wow, I feel like an idiot," said urologist Jason Breckinridge as a crowd surrounded him on the street. Breckinridge is...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Surgery Residents Bring Other MDs to Work for a Day
5:00 am: Arrive at hospital.
Peds and Psych are borderline comatose still. Medicine seems confused to find that the hospital lights work this early in...