Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath
ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...
Doctors Earn CME Credit for Watching Medical Dramas
CHICAGO, IL - In a statement released earlier today, the Accreditation Council For Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) announced that doctors can earn continuing medical...
20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
Breaking: Doctor Inconsolable Over Loss of Favorite Pen
TOWSON, MD - Unable to hold back the tears welling up in his eyes since he learned of the heartbreaking news, internal medicine attending...
After 25th Stain, Doctor Finally Decides to Wash White Coat
NEW YORK, NY - Physician Joel Winters had not washed his white coat in over 10 years. However, after acquiring a 25th stain today...
Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality
ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations.
"I had two patients in...
Habit, I Guess: OB/GYNs Accidentally Swabbing Vaginas for COVID-19
ATLANTA, GA - The novel coronavirus hasn't even peaked and emergency room personnel are already overwhelmed. In an act of goodwill, everyone is...
Study Shows ‘Hold On, I’ll Get Your Nurse’ Most Common Phrase Doctors Say to...
A new survey published this month reveals the sentence “Hold on, I’ll get your nurse” to be the most common thing doctors say to...
Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
TAMPA, FL - Following the immense success of renaming registered nurses (RNs) to “Refreshments & Narcotics,” hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital (TMCH)...
New Surgical Jason Masks Loved by Nurses, Doctors
CRYSTAL LAKE - Nurses, doctors, and other health care practitioners across the nation have announced their overwhelming support for the newly-redesigned surgical masks or Jason...