5.8 Million Packers Fans Sign Up to Donate Their Clavicles to Aaron Rodgers
GREEN BAY, WI - After Aaron Rodgers went down in Sunday's game against the Minnesota Vikings (0 Super Bowl trophies in team history), Packers (5...
Nephrologist Feels Wrong Eating Bowl Full of Kidney Beans
TAMPA, FL - Reluctantly bringing the spoon to his mouth after spending a few minutes swirling it in the bowl in front of him,...
Doctor Trespasses into Nurses Station, Shot on Sight
NORFOLK, VA - Internist Jeff Jenkins is face down and comatose on the fourth floor of Norfolk Medical Center after being shot in the...
FDA Bans Any Narcotic with the Letter ‘D’ In It
ATLANTA, GA - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) finally came to its senses today by agreeing to ban any narcotic that contains the...
Cinnabon Creates New Insulin Rolls: Insulinabons
SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing...
Mildly Annoyed Surgeon Throws 4×4 Gauze Across Operating Room
KEOKUK, IA – According to reports from Mercy Hospital, local general surgeon Greg McKelvey became so mildly frustrated by the OR staff, that he threw...
CBC To Be Replaced By Cheaper Incomplete Blood Count
NASHVILLE, TN - Looking to save a few dollars here and there in order to hire more hospital administrators, leadership at Nashville Medical Center (NMC) will...
A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale
The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management. A new scale has been devolved...
Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question
SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones. Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin. Austin, a new...
On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients
CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of...