Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients
SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients.
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Fed Up ID Doctor Wishes Everyone Would F**king Defervesce Already
EL PASO, TX - "Fevers, fevers, everywhere I look, someone's got a f**king fever!!" Dr. Ryan Keeley was heard muttering down a hallway at...
The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet
The Joint Commission (JC) has abruptly reversed their ban on caffeinated drinks at physician and nursing workstations in light of new evidence that caffeine...
Intern Put Into Timeout Cage to Think About What She Did
EL PASO, TX - New medical intern Lilah Pepper was placed into a timeout cage by her team on rounds earlier today as punishment,...
July Intern Looks Forward to Finding Out This Isn’t Worth It
CHAPEL HILL, NC - University of North Carolina internal medicine intern Warren Burke is about to embark on a long and exciting road, and today...
Radiologist Orders CT to Figure Out Contents of Breakfast Burrito
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Radiologist Calvin Sherpa sat silently at his outdoor patio table, staring at his breakfast burrito that he ordered at his...
Study: The People’s Elbow is the Most Electrifying Move in All of ACLS
HAYWARD, CA - FINALLY! The Rock… HAS COME BACK... to cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR)! A new study in the New England Journal of Sports Entertainment...
Breaking News: Local Urologist is a Giant Dick
NASHVILLE, TN - After examining thousands upon thousands of male genitalia, area urologist Richard Ball-Sax has been called by patients, colleagues, friends, and family...
Residency Program Biopsied, Found to Be Malignant
BOSTON, MA - After undergoing biopsy last week at the insistence of several concerned fourth-year medical students who matched at its program, Pathology has...