Burnout Cured by Seeing More Patients, Putting in More Hours

0
HARTFORD, CT - A recent study conducted by the Society of Hospital Administration concluded that the most effective way to cure physician burnout is...
emergency room

Breaking News: Ah Crap, You-Know-Who is Back in the ER

0
YOUR HOSPITAL, YOUR CITY, YOUR STATE - Ah, crap.  GomerBlog is sad to report… GomerBlog really doesn’t want to tell you this.  But we feel...

Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...

18
NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital...
crying doctor

Intern Forgets to Write “Appreciate GI’s Recs” in Patient Note, GI Fellow Inconsolable

0
BOSTON, MA - In what can only be described as a quagmire of apology emails, face-to-face meetings, and sensitivity seminars, the fallout from Robbie...
hand washing

IDSA Releases New Recommendations: Handwashing is Bullsh*t

0
ARLINGTON, VA - The world of medicine has been rocked early this morning with the release of new recommendations by the Infectious Diseases Society...

New Attending Receives First Paycheck, Transforms into Fully Developed Republican

0
WATERLOO, IA - Shortly after receiving his first paycheck, Trent Perry, a physician in his first year of practice, finally emerged from his cocoon...

Anesthesiologist Tired of Being Called ‘Anesthesia,’ Decides to Talk in 3rd Person with British...

3
BOULDER, CO - Dr. Shelly Druben, a practicing anesthesiologist, is tired of being called "anesthesia" by her coworkers in the operating room. "All the nurses and operating...
toliet flushing medications

NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively

38
BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Rolling Around Naked with Coronavirus-Positive Patient for Hours on End

0
ATLANTA, GA - In updated guidelines just published on its website, the Centers of Disease & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends against rolling around naked...

Spooky: Pyxis Swallows Nurse Whole, Rescue Underway

0
NEW YORK, NY - In unexpected and unfortunate news today, floor nurse Yelena Ivanovic was accidentally swallowed by her Pyxis machine shortly after engaging...