Newly-Diagnosed One-Handed Man: Totally Worth it
CUMMING, GA – Doctors on Saturday struggled to find out why patient Robert Shaffer lost his hand. Dr. Virginia Sullivan, an intern on the team, told reporters: "We asked Robert what happened, but he...
Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia
MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years. Surprisingly, that fear is the fear of touching or looking at eyeballs, otherwise called ommetaphobia.
“It just...
Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga, visits Dr. Rubenstein for her annual physicals.
A typical Lady Gaga...
Friday Afternoon Clinic Patient Surprisingly Sent to the Emergency Department
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The emergency department at Queen’s Hospital had a very rare event occur this Friday afternoon. 74-year-old Wilma Gooding, checked into the emergency room around 4:12 p.m. with a chief complaint of “needing...
Report: July The Worst Time of Year to Be Sick
BOSTON, MA – A recent study demonstrated that July, the busiest time of year for teaching hospitals, was also the worst time of the year to be sick. Medication errors and mortality rates skyrocket to over...
Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’
ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription scripts written in crayon. Head pharmacist and author of the...
All Caught Up with Game of Thrones, Local Man Finally Decides He Should Get...
ROANOKE, VA - Upon finishing Game of Thrones Season 3 at 2 AM, local man Charles Cerioli decided it would be a good time to visit St. Joe’s Emergency Room. "I was sitting there on my...
Flatulence to Blame for Failed Laparoscopic Procedure
IOWA CITY, IA – Yesterday was a typical operating day at Holy Cross Hospital in room #12 until 1:45 p.m. The room was a general surgery room full of appendectomies and other laparoscopic procedures. ...
Anesthesiologist Calls for STAT Sudoku Help in OR 3
PHOENIX, AZ – St. Joe’s Outpatient Surgery Center’s anesthesiologist Dr. James Robinson was twenty-two minutes into performing anesthesia on a 31-year-old ASA 1 for a knee scope, when he suddenly needed help. “Right away...
“Rare Diseases” Give Jenny McCarthy Lifetime Achievement Award
LOS ANGELES, CA - Thursday night the 197,788th annual Rare Disease Awards - formally known as the Common Disease Awards - brought the house down at the Staples Center.
The usual celebrities graced the red carpet: SARS,...