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Dr. Nim Sure That ‘All Patients Are Just Faking It’

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Dr. Suda Nim, known for his lack of insight and compassion, states that most patient's pain is "just in their head." Known for years by co-workers as "Numb-Nim," by his inability to understand anything from the...

That’s So Mean: Hospital Kitchen Sends NPO Patients Empty Tray

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North Portland, Oregon—The defiance of an NPO order, whether intentional or accidental, may have profound consequences, including worsening of symptoms and delay of surgical procedures. In many of theses cases, the patients simply had...

Entire OR Team Kneels During Timeout to Protest Administrators

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GREEN BAY, WI - In a stunning turn of events, entire OR teams including Anesthesia kneeled today during all surgical timeouts today at Bellin Hospital.  The shocking display of unity against the hospital administrators...

10 Exciting Real Pages to Get, Especially at 2 AM

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1. Patient reporting 10/10 pain, wants stronger meds after his nap. 2. Patient’s butt is itchy.  Please advise. 3. Hi doc, pt has BP 127/61, HR 74, T 37.6, sleeping.  Please acknowledge. 4. Pt’s brother is a...
emr

The Fantasy Google Electronic Medical Record Vs. Reality

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Maybe Google needs to be hired for the next generation of electronic medical records.  Most of us would appreciate these new changes.
hospital specials

Emergency Department Offers Daily Specials: Revenue Skyrocketing

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RALEIGH, NC - The competitive and creative business of healthcare and medical treatment has suffered in the US due to the unsustainable and skyrocketing costs associated with unintentional trips to the hospital and Emergency...
haldol delivery system

Haldol Blowdart Halted in Phase 3 Clinical Trial Due to ‘Safety Concerns’

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MORRISTOWN, NJ - Recognizing the mounting need for new and creative ways to quickly administer haloperidol (a typical antipsychotic drug) to that “difficult” patient, Big Pharma Pharmaceuticals (BPP) outside Morristown, NJ had planned to release...
davinci robot

Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich

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CLEVELAND, OH - After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room and began setting up a sterile field.  "I’ve always wanted...
Ebola quarantine chart

NY/NJ Ebola Algorithm for People with Recent Travel to Africa

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* We truly appreciate you risking your life to treat dying people... just stay away from us. * ** Free to leave includes taking mass transportation and bowling. ** *** Please do not lie where you...
acl knee

Orthopedic Surgeon Arrested for Using Duct Tape to Repair ACLs

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PORTSMOUTH, NH - An 8-year investigation ended with a shocking revelation and arrest out of New Hampshire today as orthopedic surgeon Dr. Terrance Ancef-Bonecutt was caught using Duct Tape to repair patients' anterior cruciate...