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Spouse of Surgical Resident Charged with Polygamy

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YONKERS, NY - 27-year-old Emily Follingsworth was charged with polygamy yesterday in Yonkers, NY, days after her second wedding.  Follingsworth, a spouse of a fifth-year neurosurgical resident, could not believe what she had done. “I had completely...
anesthesia patient

PACU Institutes ‘No Repeat’ Policy

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CREST BUTTE, MT - The policy review committee at Nondenominational Faith Memorial Medical Center has instituted a “No Repeat” policy in their Post Anesthesia Care Unit (PACU).  The chairperson of the committee says that this...

Student Taking the MCAT Fails After Saving Proctor

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – An unbelievable event occurred yesterday afternoon in the Prometric MCAT computer testing center.  A proctor at the testing site suddenly collapsed in the testing room during the MCAT administration. Jeremy Towlins, a...

Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria

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ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday.  24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth to a healthy baby girl via cesarean section yesterday after...

27-Page Birth Plan Even Includes a Zombie Apocalypse Clause

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CLEVELAND, OH – Heather Briggins, from Parma Heights, recently was admitted to St. Joe’s in labor at 39 weeks.  She quickly handed her 3-ring-bound birth-plan book to staff. "Glitter got all over me," said labor and delivery nurse Shannon...
anesthesia clinic

Anesthesia Pre-Op Clinic Moved to the 4th Floor

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CLEVELAND, OH – With budgets being slashed and insurers looking to save money, the Anesthesia Department at Memorial Hospital made a significant change to its Anesthesia Pre-Op Clinic.  The clinic moved to a section of the building that...
red blood cells

Hematologists Award Lance Armstrong Gold Medal de Excellence

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AUSTIN, TX - On the eve of the historic 100th running of the Tour de France in Corsica, Lance Armstrong is making history again.  The American Society of Hematology (ASH) has released a statement...
hand washing

Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States.  In public restrooms across America hand dryers blow air, slightly warmer than...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or previously called JACHO, but don't EVER call them that now...

Local Medical Student Struggles to Explain His Eagerness to Place Foley Catheter on Male...

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ANN ARBOR, MI - Local medical student Dan S. started his first rotation today in Surgery.  “I woke up at 2:45 am arrived at the hospital about 3:10 am and I was able to...