Thursday, March 28, 2024

Cardiology

Superman Kryptonite subclavian steal

Breaking: Man of Steel Has Subclavian Steal Syndrome

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METROPOLIS, US – Superman is back in the hospital at Metropolis Medical Center (MMC).  This time he presents with syncope and poor circulation in his left hand.  Turns out the Man of Steel has...
urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest to her that she is not only adequately urinating from...
smoking at hospital

Patient with Inhuman Perseverance and Resolve Makes It Outside to Smoke with 50 Pounds...

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COLUMBUS, OH - Last week a patient at University Hospital performed a feat so incredible, so difficult, that she has earned the distinction of being the world's most stubborn smoker.  Mrs. Carol Hansel of...
zoll

Psalm of Zoll

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All hail the mighty Zoll, savior of the ICU The one who brings back life from the brink of death He’ll send you a jolt to find renewed vigor He’ll lead you right when your rhythm is...

Internist Able to Hear Heart Sounds Using Disposable Stethoscope

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CHICAGO, IL – In what is believed to have been a first, Dr. Dick Andersen legitimately heard heart sounds using a disposable “MRSA stethoscope” this week. Long criticized for being far better at being disposable...
Quaker State Canola Oil

Product Review: Quaker State Ultimate Durability Full Synthetic Canola Oil

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Pros / Quaker State's new product provides excellent protection against the formation of sludge, plaque, and other harmful deposits, improving viscosity in all weather conditions. Cons / Similar packaging makes for easy confusion with motor oil. The One...
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than 130 mmHg systolic or 80 mmHg diastolic.  However, a repeat...
ejection fraction EF 100%

Perfect Score! Patient Has Ejection Fraction of 100%

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SAVANNAH, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, patient Edward Jacobs has just aced his cardiac exam, the transthoracic echocardiogram specifically, becoming the first patient in history to achieve of a perfect ejection fraction...
reach out

In Attempt to Reach Out to Cards, Medicine Resident Falls Out of Chair

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BOSTON, MA - In an aging population that is becoming increasingly complex, it is not uncommon for inpatient primary teams taking care of patients to reach out to subspecialists for help.  This is what...
hesitate hesitation hesitating

Contrary to Consultant’s Advice, Doctor is Now Hesitant to Call Back with Any Questions

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AUSTIN, TX - After admitting a patient with end-stage congestive heart failure, third-year internal medicine resident Amanda Cummings consulted the cardiology service to help with management.  Cardiology was happy to see the patient, and...