Friday, March 29, 2024

Hospitalists

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...

Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy

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RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the world’s first successful CT-guided chart biopsy. “Words cannot express this moment,”...
rock in hospital

Medical Service’s “Rock” Patient Discovered Upon Physical Exam to Be Actual Rock

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PLYMOUTH, MA - Intern Douglas McCombs was surprised to learn this morning that a patient on the medical service, who had been deemed a "rock" due to the myriad social issues that prevented their...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and all you want to do is go home but where...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby explaining a centuries-old mystery of why patients have not taken...

Tips: How to Keep Your Necktie Nice & Colonized‏

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So who doesn’t love neckties?  Not only do they strangle your windpipe, but they also spread disease with reckless abandon.  Cheers to that!  Here are some of our favorite ways at GomerBlog to help...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

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ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth Code Blue was announced overhead in the past 2 hours....

Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum

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LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with bright red blocks per rectum (BRBPR).  "He had 3 episodes...

Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...

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BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR" permanently tattooed to every potential central venous access point on...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be a major source of morbidity and mortality in the United...