Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can’t Handle, Break Hand Bones in Process
RALEIGH, NC - GomerBlog has confirmed this morning that some local lovers tried positions that they ultimately couldn’t handle and broke several carpal bones in the process. Disturbing news indeed after this Valentine's Day.
One...
Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues
KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than the hospitalist. The improbable event triggered an escalating series of...
Orthopod Caught Listening to Femur with Stethoscope
ATLANTA, GA - In an awkward moment at a patient's bedside earlier today, orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley was caught doing what can only be described as a head-scratcher: auscultating his patient's surgically-repaired femur with a stethoscope.
"I...
Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator
LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized it for now with an external fixation device or external...
Introducing the ‘Dude-Vinci,’ The 1st Robot for Orthopedic Surgery
DAYTON, OH - A cutting-edge surgical robot has been approved by the FDA and purchased for use in the orthopedic suite at a local hospital.
The Dude-Vinci is perfectly calibrated to assist any orthopedic surgeon....
PyeongChang Tragedy: Team USA Curler Blows Out Both ACLs, MCLs, Hips, Spleen
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Curling is not for the faint of heart. In the adrenaline rush of hurling his rock down the ice, Team USA curler, John Shuster, lost his form and blew out...
An Orthopaedic Surgeon Explains Renal Tubular Acidosis
GLOBOGYM HEADQUARTERS, MA - Apparently someone at GomerBlog Twitter headquarters thought it would be funny to make me explain a “real” medical topic to celebrate GomerBlog hitting 25k followers. You posers and hosers voted...
Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump
ATLANTA, GA - "Shhh," orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley told befuddled onlookers as he used a stethoscope (or, as he puts it, "a mini jump rope") to carefully listen to one of his must trusted friends, the Ancef pump. ...
Bones: An Orthopedic Surgeon’s Perspective
By Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. Thomas Partinger
Bones. I like bones. I like big bones. I like small bones. I like bones. I like long bones. I like short bones. I like old bones. I like...
Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps
LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts. "Thor don't understand!" You see, Hammersley has just spotted a true anomaly walking the...