Orthopedics

Introducing the ‘Dude-Vinci,’ The 1st Robot for Orthopedic Surgery

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DAYTON, OH - A cutting-edge surgical robot has been approved by the FDA and purchased for use in the orthopedic suite at a local...
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Peyton Manning No Longer Has The Arm Strength to Deliver Papa John’s Pizzas

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DENVER, CO - According to Denver Broncos team doctors, aging 39-year-old quarterback Peyton Manning’s arm strength has significantly diminished to the point where he...
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Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts.  "Thor don't understand!"  You...
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Orthopods Reclassified as Bromo Sapiens

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In their first update in nearly two years, the American Taxonomy Society (ATS) has placed arthropods under their own genus, formally...
hopscotch

Study: Hopscotch Leading Cause of Hip Fractures in Elderly

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BOSTON, MA - A byproduct of the children's game that has become an inexplicable epidemic among our baby boomers, a study newly published in...
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American Board of Hospitalists Publishes Guidelines for Orthopaedic Imaging

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Hospitalists manage extremely complex disease processes that require intense critical thinking and deep analysis to properly diagnose and treat. Bones, however, are quite straightforward. If...
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Orthopaedic Surgeons in Minnesota Bracing for Landslide of Injuries from Vikings Fans Jumping Off...

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Following the Vikings loss this weekend, orthopaedic surgeons in the greater Twin Cities area are standing by for an influx of lower...
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An Orthopedic Surgeon Explains: Diastolic Heart Failure

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Brosefs and lady folk: It seems that every now and then we have to deal with something other than the bones.  As you can imagine,...

Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son

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NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz.  Dr. Roger Messi was...
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Breaking: Ortho Declares War on Sticks & Stones

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ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) has officially declared war on sticks and stones, Gomerblog reports.  “Starting today we formally declare...