Saturday, April 20, 2024

Anesthesiology

Pokémon Go Update: Local Man Walks Into an OR to Catch Rare Pokémon: Abra

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Local man, Danny Nguyen, wandered into St. Elizabeth Hospital's operating room chasing down a rare Pokémon: Abra. "I had no idea where I was," stated Danny. "I knew Abra was nearby...
anesthesia clinic

Anesthesia Pre-Op Clinic Moved to the 4th Floor

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CLEVELAND, OH – With budgets being slashed and insurers looking to save money, the Anesthesia Department at Memorial Hospital made a significant change to its Anesthesia Pre-Op Clinic.  The clinic moved to a section of the building that...
Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton Blames Benghazi on Anesthesia

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last week former Secretary of State and self-presumed next president Hillary Clinton, testified before Congress about the Benghazi Tragedy in 2012.  The congressional panel lasted for 11 hours but during the...
anesthesia patient

Mayim Bialik causes The American Society of Anesthesiologists to Quit and Rebrand

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Mayim Bialik may be the straw that broke the camel’s back once and for all for Anesthesiologists throughout the world. On Friday night’s Jeopardy during the meet and greet portion, Bialik referred...
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Norovirus and a Patient’s Oxygen Saturation of 33% Too Much for Anesthesiologist to Handle

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BOSTON, MA - Norovirus is running rampant throughout the country this January and anesthesiologist Tim Bellows became the next poor victim to become infected.  He was midway through a laparoscopic appendectomy when he felt...
intubation teeth

Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...

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TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s teeth while attempting his first intubation during an elective anesthesia...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesia Blamed for Rand Paul Attack

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BOWLING GREEN, KY - In yet another case of everything being blamed on Anesthesia, reports are now circulating that even the attack on Rand Paul that occurred at Dr. Paul’s house is being blamed...
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

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BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England Journal of Medicine, Ativan is the best medicine with laughter falling...

Surgeon General: Attorney General’s Progress Note Copied Directly from H&P

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Surgeon General Jerome Adams released his opinion in a press statement that Attorney General William Barr “simply copied relevant portions of the admitting H&P in making his progress note.” In a meeting...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and all you want to do is go home but where...