Thor Spotted Crushing Reflexes with Mighty Hammer
ASGARD – According to witnesses, Thor, Norse God of Thunder, was recently spotted at a local hospital crushing patellar tendons with his mighty new...
Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea
BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented...
Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and ‘High Pain Tolerance’ Actually Has a High Pain...
TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...
Study: Average Coffee Sip-to-Sh*t Time is 29 Seconds
AUSTIN, TX - It is well-known that coffee stimulates the morning number twos in about 30% of people who drink the life-sustaining nectar. A...
New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain
ANDERSON, CA - In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into...
Buried Under Avalanche of Past Medical History, Rescue Underway to Save Chief Complaint
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nascent intern Jesse D'Amato was only part-way through the opening line of his history of present illness (HPI) when supervising Tulane...
New Study Finds CRNAs Just as Good at Taking Breaks as Anesthesiologists
BOSTON, MA – A new study published in the Journal of the American Association of Nurse Anesthetists found that CRNA’s are just as proficient...
Military Training to Now Include Walking Through Busy ER Wearing White Coat
ST. LOUIS, MO – Military training regardless of service branch has been known for its physical and mental demands. To further push the psychological...
CDC Recommends Against Any Advice to “Eat Sh*t and Die”
ATLANTA, GA - Contrary to what that angry dude might have just screamed at you, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends against...
