PPE Shortage: TB Patient Tests Negative for COVID-19, Placed on Standard Precautions
ARLINGTON, TX – Local hospital that struggles with personal protective equipment (PPE) shortage, decide to triage its usage among his health providers. To that end, an intubated patient with pulmonary tuberculosis was tested for...
COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance
ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight against COVID-19 by any means, the Centers of Disease Control...
Gomerblog Inspires Emergency Medicine Residents to Solve COVID-19 Mask Shortage Crisis
PROVIDENCE, RI - Due to mask shortages reported across the country, hospital staff at prominent New England hospitals have been asked to conserve normally disposable masks by wearing them for two days. Fortunately, emergency...
Lupus Foundation Places Nation’s Supply of Hydroxychloroquine Under Quarantine
WASHINGTON, DC—Except for people with lupus, anyone else hoping to score some hydroxychloroquine (HCQ), is unfortunately out of luck. In an effort to keep the vital lupus drug away from people who had heard—based...
Nation to Vote on Which Celebrity to Sacrifice to COVID19 Gods
Who will you vote to eliminate; Miley Cyrus, Malone Post, Kanye West, or all of the Kardashians? All we know is that even if it doesn't stop the virus, America still wins!
CDC Now Recommends Using Baby Diapers for PPE
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control has issued a statement recommending that doctors and nurses should now use baby diapers for PPE. Given the widespread national shortages of N95 respirator masks, there...
Surgeon General Creates Downloadable ‘Home ECMO’ PDF
As COVID-19 continues to spread through the population, we are increasingly finding the availability of PPE to be limited. Hospital staff are told to reuse disposable masks and to consider wrapping scarves around their...
Jealous Influenza Wonders What It Has to Do to Get Some Damn Attention Around...
Dear Gomerblog,
I’m an avid reader of your hilarious website, but lately I couldn’t help but notice that there are a ton of posts about that loser Coronavirus and none about me. I get it,...
In Effort to Contain Coronavirus, CDC Urges Americans to Abstain from Breathing for 2...
ATLANTA, GA—Citing the effectiveness of sex abstinence in preventing sexually-transmitted infections like HIV, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has strongly advised Americans to abstain from breathing for at least 2 weeks...
Administrators Volunteer To Screen Patients During Pandemic
After spreading the CDC’s gospel for healthcare workers exposed to
COVID-19 and lacking face masks to show up to work with their bandanas, health administrators also left their telehuddles (where it was decided that nurses...