Thursday, March 28, 2024

Full Articles

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recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that boasts multiple uses in retrieving various objects from assorted body...

High Patient Satisfaction Scores, Key Elements for Success

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Over 23,000 hospital patients were polled to help determine what factors are considered important for patients when it comes to their satisfaction at hospitals.  Knowing what patients want is important, but even more so these...
upset student

Medical Schools, Residency Programs in Shock as Zero Medical Students Matched This Year

10
WASHINGTON, DC - In a completely unexpected development in the past 24 hours, medical schools and residency programs are shocked and confused as a grand total of zero medical students matched into residency programs...
remote village

Malpractice Attorneys Without Borders Program Announced to Aid Legally Underserved Countries

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NEW YORK, NY – The National Legal Aid and Defender Association announced today the establishment of MMAWB (Medical Malpractice Attorneys Without Borders), a group whose mission statement includes “serving those individuals in impoverished areas...
davinci robot

Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich

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CLEVELAND, OH - After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room and began setting up a sterile field.  "I’ve always wanted...
airplane

Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies

10
WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has closed its outpatient surgical center that was touted as being...
wine pairs

Tips: What Wine Pairs Well with Patients & Helps Me Cope with Them?

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We’ve all been there.  You’re at bedside with your patient and you find yourself stumped on which wine you should drink to best pair with him or her.  You may be stressed and simply...
walking

Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in Americans riding motorized chairs instead of walking. Wheelchairs, initially invented for...
apple pager

What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager

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CUPERTINO, CA - Lost amidst the excitement of the new Apple Watch has been the new Apple Pager, which is also due to hit shelves later this spring.  For years, health care practitioners have...
medical students

Straight-A Medical Student Eager to One Day Have Very Own Patients Who Completely Ignore...

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Expressing that there would be “no greater conceivable opportunity to help others,” top-of-her-class medical student and part-time brownnoser Isabelle Wessington says she eagerly anticipates a future career in which she,...