Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry
ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University. "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours...
Hospital CEOs to Take Multi-Million Dollar Pay Cuts to Finance Hazard Pays
Option 1: Just kidding.
Option 2:
Pressed by enormous frustration from medical staff around the country working mandatory overtime in unsafe conditions and with limited PPE,...
New battery-free pager powered by residents’ sweat and tears.
In a seemingly limitless display of fiscal ingenuity, hospital administrators have invented a battery-free pager. Administrators have long lamented the hundreds of dollars wasted...
Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient
We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds.
“Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...
Soap Opera Doctor Still Awaiting Credentialing 5 Years and Counting
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Dr. Mario Love, a well-known Days of Our Lives general surgeon, is still not credentialed at his local hospital after being on the...
New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”
CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
Da Vinci Recruited by Megatron to Destroy Optimus Prime
CYBERTRON - In unsettling news today, Da Vinci continues to pursue his dastardly ways by joining forces with the Decepticons. Citing neglect on behalf on...
Introducing the ‘Dude-Vinci,’ The 1st Robot for Orthopedic Surgery
DAYTON, OH - A cutting-edge surgical robot has been approved by the FDA and purchased for use in the orthopedic suite at a local...
Study Linking Tylenol Use During Pregnancy and ADHD Partially Funded by Motrin
NEW YORK - The FDA is now issuing an urgent warning against the recently released study in JAMA Pediatrics linking Tylenol use during pregnancy...
What Your Hospital Coffee Selection Says About You
1) The “For Patient’s Only” Coffee Machine
The feigned ‘exclusiveness’ of this particular brew forces a smug smile on the face of any resident or...