Nephrologist Discovers New Electrolyte, Internists Everywhere Rejoice
LONDON, ONTARIO, CANADA – Morning report got much more interesting this week, as nephrologist David Adams fulfilled the unspoken dreams of internists around the world, as he announced that he found a new serum...
Operating Room Swear Jars Set to Pay Down National Debt by 2018
WASHINGTON, DC – The American College of Surgeons was pleased to announce today that their “Operating Room Swear Jar Initiative” will soon generate enough revenue to pay off the U.S. national debt of 19...
Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath
ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force and maximum torque" and absolutely looks forward to the horrific...
Breaking: Medical Student Faints on Rounds, No One Cares
NEW ORLEANS, LA - During vascular surgery rounds this morning, a medical student fainted in a patient’s room, and no one cared.
“On the vascular surgery service, it is the medical student’s job to get...
Local Woman Gives Up Facebook, Misses Post on Cure for Her Disease
PHOENIX, AZ - On the first of the month Katie Brunswick posted on her Facebook page that she was "giving up Facebook" for the month to raise awareness for her un-diagnosed generalized pain disease. Katie's disease...
Oncologist Dr. Trump: Making Your Body Great Again
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Trump makes his rounds through the halls of NYU's hospital and you can overhear his barking: "Cisplatin you're FIRED, it's a non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, start R-CHOP."
GomerBlog was lucky enough to...
Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors
MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday. 84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room while undergoing an abdominal aneurysm repair.
“Blood started pouring out everywhere,”...
ACGME Limits Resident Work Hours to 168 Per Week
CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to increase resident satisfaction and curb the current epidemic of burnout in health care professionals, the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) has published new guidelines to...
Psychiatry Residents Estimate that 30% of Consults are for Comatose Patients
Dr. Charles Willis scowls at his beeping pager for interrupting his lunch break. “Christ almighty, I can’t sit down for a couple hours without this damn thing going off,” he grumbles, hauling himself out...
Breaking: Biologists Reclassify Millenials as Fomo Sapiens
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As a result of the known high prevalence of fear of missing out or "FOMO" among millenials, American biologists have undertaken the unprecedented step of reclassifying millenials as Fomo sapiens to...
