12 Days of Christmas – Hospital Style
On the first day of Christmas my true love bought for me, a prep with a colonoscopy.
On the second day of Christmas my true...
VA Patient Breaks Record, Quits Smoking 365 Times In One Year
BOSTON, MA - Joe Kamel, a 69-year-old veteran, has made his way into the Guinness Book of World Records. The Vietnam War veteran had...
Studies Suggest Afternoon Rounding is More About Staff Head Count Than Patient Care
“It’s 2 o’clock. Can we check-in with everyone now?”
The Case Manager huddles with the Charge Nurse as he calls for the nurses. While studies...
Lyft Offshoot FaceLyft Offers Patients Rides To, From Plastic Surgeons
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Catering to the very specific niche of passengers needing rides to and from their plastic surgery appointments, Lyft's new offshoot...
Podiatrists Admit They’re Not Really Examining Patients, Just Tickling Them
TOEJAM LAKE, CA - At the 23rd annual National Podiatric Conference on Bunions, the board of directors voted 5-4 to admit what the public...
Patient with Inhuman Perseverance and Resolve Makes It Outside to Smoke with 50 Pounds...
COLUMBUS, OH - Last week a patient at University Hospital performed a feat so incredible, so difficult, that she has earned the distinction of...
‘This 1500-Calorie Diabetic Renal Diet is Delicious!’ Said No One in the History of...
COAST-TO-COAST, AMERICA - "Well, I'll be damned! This low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, low-potassium, 1500-calorie, diabetic, and renal diet is absolutely delicious!" said no hospitalized patient ever...
Randomized Controlled Trial Finds #ThoughtsAndPrayers Superior to #Thoughts or #Prayers Alone
BERKELEY, CA - A recent study of millennial patients diagnosed with chronic diseases found that social media posts with #ThoughtsAndPrayers were more effective than...
Psychiatrist Downsizes Psychiatry Couch to Crappy Lawn Chair
LOS ANGELES, CA - The direct result of budgetary cutbacks and an attempt to stay afloat, psychiatrist Eric Tavernier has downgraded his psychiatry couch for...
Psalm of Zoll
All hail the mighty Zoll, savior of the ICU
The one who brings back life from the brink of death
He’ll send you a jolt to...