Urologists Nationwide Recommend ChapPrick for Dry Dicks
LINTHICUM, MD - With a recent flare in the number of cases of males suffering from penile dryness this fall, the American Urological Association...
Radiologist Orders CT to Figure Out Contents of Breakfast Burrito
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Radiologist Calvin Sherpa sat silently at his outdoor patio table, staring at his breakfast burrito that he ordered at his...
Breaking: Winning Word at Ortho Spelling Bee is “WBAT”
TIBIAL PLAINS, PA - Defeating over 300 of the country’s best-spelling orthopods, Jimmy “Jackhammer” Jameson has claimed the coveted title of American Ortho Spelling Bee...
Attending Loses Perspective, Can’t Find it Anywhere
NASHVILLE, TN - "I swear I just had it," muttered 57-year-old vascular surgeon Tom Hatfield as he feverishly searched for his perspective under stacks...
CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”
ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...
Respiratory System Secedes, Declares Independence from Human Body
THE HUMAN BODY - In a stunning development that will inevitably alter the balance of power within us all, the respiratory system has successfully...
Bald Eagle Frustrated That Rogaine Didn’t Do Jack Sh*t
ANCHORAGE, AK - In a rare instance of frustration, a fuming bald eagle agitatedly paced up and down the branch of a Sitka spruce...
Embarrassing: Team Doctor Rushes Onto Field Without His Stethoscope Again
DENVER, CO - New York Giants team doctor Scott Rodeo feels like a giant moron as he once again rushed out onto the field...
5.8 Million Packers Fans Sign Up to Donate Their Clavicles to Aaron Rodgers
GREEN BAY, WI - After Aaron Rodgers went down in Sunday's game against the Minnesota Vikings (0 Super Bowl trophies in team history), Packers (5...
Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...