VIP Treatment Offers Merlot, Pinot Noir as Surgical Prep
MILL VALLEY, CA - As hospitals across the country merge into corporate conglomerates, they lose their identity, much like identical Walmarts taking out Mom...
The Night Before Joint Commission
‘Twas the night before Joint Commission, when all thro’ the ER
Not a beverage was open not, even a beer;
The EMRs were all...
The Joint Commission Announces First Annual ‘Patient Safety Purge’
In a move sparked by the popularity of the horror movie franchise, The Purge, the Joint Commission for the Accreditation of Hospital Organizations (JCAHO)...
Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes
WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...
Canadian Government Unveils Healthcare “Canadianization” Strategy
OTTAWA, ONTARIO, CANADA - History was made today, with the unveiling of a new healthcare strategy aimed at bringing Canadian values to the forefront...
Politicians, Nostalgic for the 1990s, Unanimously Support “Medicare-for-All-4-One
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of bipartisanship that is all too rare in Washington these days, Congress unanimously passed a new health insurance plan...
Hospital Administrators March on D.C. for Safer Administrator:Patient Ratios
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Yesterday, American hospital administrators took a bold step in voicing collective frustration with their work environment, as a throng of over...
New Study Finds Hospital CEO Pay Linked to CEO Satisfaction
In a new report by Coastline Health Systems, the results of a system-wide performance review were unveiled. Two independent consulting groups had been hired...
Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores
ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season. Disney...
JCAHO Changes Recommendation After Evidence Found to Support Recommendation
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – During a recent Joint Commission Board meeting, it was discovered that the recommendation that Physician white coats be laundered daily...