Friday, March 29, 2024

Cardiology

chest anatomy

Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First

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CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.”  When the EKG tech obtained the print out, she rushed it...

Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol

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HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson.  He has been unable to find a job as a cardiologist due to losing his...
routine ECG

Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts

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MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years.  She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the reason as "voluptuous breasts." Ms. Jacobs and her scrub puppies were...

George Bush: I Misunderestimated the Weapon of Mass Destruction in My Coronaries: Atherosclerosis

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DALLAS, TX - George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States, had a coronary artery stent placed on Wednesday.  Dubbya said he went to the doctor with chest pain, but blamed it...
Cardio vs Neph

American College of Cardiology Seen Publically Fighting with the American Society of Nephrology

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WASHINGTON, DC - The American College of Cardiology (ACC) is currently refusing to talk to the American Society of Nephrology (ASN).  Sources say the fight rekindled at a medical mixer when the ASN thought the punch bowl needed...
cardiology research

Cardiologist “Very Excited” About the New Updates

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DURHAM, NC – Dr. Stone was seen earlier today speaking with a colleague in the halls saying how excited he was about the new updates.  His colleague, Dr. Poole, was anxiously trying to leave...