Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Hospitalists

doctors and surgeons yelling

Report from ACP Internal Medicine Conference: Record Attendance by Internists Leaves Surgeons Struggling to...

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BOSTON, MA - GomerBlog is on hand to report that a record number of internists and hospitalists have attended this year’s American College of Physicians (ACP) Internal Medicine Conference 2015 in Boston.  Though this...
excited woman

Physician Signs Out Patient Census and Pager, Has Slight Orgasm

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ORLANDO, FL - After having one of the toughest weeks in her professional career as a hospitalist during which she had a census of no fewer than 20 patients each day due to the...
mars

NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars

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MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades.  Successful travel to and habitation of Mars would be a monumental accomplishment for science, physics, and...
abim

American Board of Internal Medicine on MOC: “Our Intern Got It Wrong”

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - On top of numerous changes, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) issued an apology to members of the internal medicine community today for its mistaken approach to the Maintenance of...

Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated

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RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning.  She found herself stuck on the second syllable.  Thanks to her nurse...
potassium

Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium

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LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has stopped everything and look forward to taking care of Room...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

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ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth Code Blue was announced overhead in the past 2 hours....

Doctor Makes His Pager DNR

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MARIETTA, GA - “It was time,” explained hospitalist James Smith as he caressed his American Messaging pager circa 1981 with its screen reminiscent of a jaundiced Gameboy.  “It was time.”  Though it took some...
fecal transplant recipient

Tearful Reunion Between Fecal Transplant Donor & Recipient Captured in Video

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BOCA RATON, FL - After years searching for the kind colon which gave her bowels a new lease on life, fecal transplant recipient Faye Cullsponge finally met Charity Brown, her fecal transplant donor, at...

Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer

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MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at least twice, Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, explained the role of...