Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Hospitalists

pumpkin spice

Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve survey response rates.  "We are so excited to give a...

It Took Over 3 Years, But ICU Team Finally Finishes Untangling All Those Lines

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SAN JOSE, CA - It took over 3 years and 7 months to do, but the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Holy Cross Hospital is ecstatic to report that it has finally untangled all...

Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...

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BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR" permanently tattooed to every potential central venous access point on...
surgical management

Ortho Consults Medicine for Surgical Management

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - In an act that most definitely crosses the line, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has consulted Medicine for surgical management of a comminuted left femoral neck fracture. "The way I see it, Medicine...
colonoscopy

Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t

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COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out told them that Watts was simply full of sh*t. "He told...
fecal transplant recipient

Tearful Reunion Between Fecal Transplant Donor & Recipient Captured in Video

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BOCA RATON, FL - After years searching for the kind colon which gave her bowels a new lease on life, fecal transplant recipient Faye Cullsponge finally met Charity Brown, her fecal transplant donor, at...

Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer

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MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at least twice, Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, explained the role of...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Has Turned On ‘Out of Office’ Reply Permanently

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HARTFORD, CT - Dr. Paul Tanzwicki, a new hospitalist at Upper West Medical Center, was excited to turn his out of office reply on his email. “I worked as a primary care doctor and internist...

Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage

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SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is offering a 55-minute carotid sinus massage. It...

Pros and Cons of a Hospitalist

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GomerBlog is taking an in-depth look at the pros and cons of many specialties.  The first is a hospitalist: See also: - Pros and Cons of a Stethoscope