Hillary Launches New Public Health Campaign: ‘I’m with Her-pes’
WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to raise awareness for the rising rates of genital herpes across all age groups in the U.S., Hillary Clinton has launched a new public health campaign and task...
Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate
ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed graph scales, which showed that the rate of significant adverse...
Headlines from the Week in Medical News
ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process.
AKRON, OH - Patient with Kluver-Bucy Syndrome made NPO except for meals.
BOSTON, MA...
ID’s Epic Consult Note Starts with “Once Upon a Time”
ALBANY, NY - A primary medical team at Albany Medical Center (AMC) is bracing themselves for the worst, as Infectious Diseases (ID) has just dropped an epic consult note, a note so long that...
Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have a yellow contact precaution cart outside of their home after...
New Cracker Jack ‘Toys’ Include Condoms, Clean Syringes
PLANO, TX - Frito-Lay has just announced "Good fun!" in the form of a limited edition of Cracker Jack Chocolate & Caramel Flavored Popcorn, in which the "Toy Surprise" will be geared towards adults and...
With Sanders Out of 2016 Race, CDC Urges Those Still ‘Feeling the Bern’ to...
ATLANTA, GA – Following the announcement from the Sanders campaign that he has officially withdrawn his candidacy from the 2016 Democratic Presidential Primary Race, officials at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft
It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around. We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never. Now it’s everywhere. What is also happening? The mass-vaccination of our precious...
Avascular Necrosis Renamed to Slow Chronic Unfixable Bone Atrophy (SCUBA) to Stop Unnecessary STAT...
BONE ISLAND, FL - A condition long known by a scary-sounding name has been renamed at the American Society for Surgeons of the Hand of the Lower Extremity (ASSHLE) annual meeting here in sunny...
Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean
Ad text
Actual meaning
Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...