Friday, April 30, 2021
PM&R doctor

Nephrologist Sets Patients’ Dry Weight Goal at 0 Kg

HOUSTON, TX - Adding to his reputation of aggressively managing volume status, nephrologist Albert Kalosis has announced that his new goal dry weight for his end-stage renal disease (ESRD) patients is zero...
acid-base disorders

Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar

BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a doubt" that anyone who claims to understand acid-base...

Always Blame Nephrology

Intern: Patient’s BP is now 90/50. Resident: This is from pulling too much fluid with dialysis Intern: Patient didn’t get any dialysis today Resident: Then, it is from the dialysis done 2 days ago Intern: They just called...
kidney beans

Nephrologist Feels Wrong Eating Bowl Full of Kidney Beans

TAMPA, FL - Reluctantly bringing the spoon to his mouth after spending a few minutes swirling it in the bowl in front of him, area nephrologist Samuel Martins says it feels totally wrong indulging...

An Orthopaedic Surgeon Explains Renal Tubular Acidosis

GLOBOGYM HEADQUARTERS, MA - Apparently someone at GomerBlog Twitter headquarters thought it would be funny to make me explain a “real” medical topic to celebrate GomerBlog hitting 25k followers. You posers and hosers voted...
female doctor

After 14 Years of Medical Training, MD/PhD Still Unsure of Career Path

HOUSTON, TX - Despite 4 years of medical school, 3 years of PhD training, 5 years of child neurology residency, 1 year of clinical neurophysiology fellowship, and 1 year of epilepsy fellowship, Dr. Needmore...

Hospital to Open Day Spa in Dialysis and Infusion Unit to Increase Income

In a bold move announced today, Mt. Saint Elsewhere hospital stated that the dialysis and infusion unit will be offering supplemental packages. “Anything you could get a regular spa you will now be able...
racehorse peeing Lasix

Racehorse Confirms He’s Peeing Like a Human on Lasix

LOUISVILLE, KY - A 4-year-old thoroughbred and racehorse named I's & O's has confirmed with Gomerblog that he is not only peeing but peeing profusely, like a human on Lasix (furosemide). "No question, I'm urinating...
dialysis machine ATM machine

Med Student Mistakes Dialysis Machine for ATM Machine

NASHVILLE, TN - As much as they wanted to help out third-year medical student Erin Sperling, the staff of the dialysis unit at Vanderbilt University Medical Center just didn't have the heart to tell...
urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest to her that she is not only adequately urinating from...