Local Hospital Adds Overpriced Coffee to Patient Bowel Regimen Protocol with Fantastic Results
SEATTLE, WA - Seattle Memorial Hospital has dramatically reduced their rates of post-operative ileus and opioid-induced constipation by requiring that all patient bowel regimens...
Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...
Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager
You and your pager have likely formed a long and memorable relationship together while sitting on your hip. Over time the initial lust may...
Joint Commission Shuts Down McStuffins Clinic for Violations
BURBANK, CA - Just on the heels of an amazing comeback, the Disney Channel has now stopped patient care operations in the backyard playhouse clinic of...
Declining Lipitor Sales Prompt Revision of Cholesterol Guidelines Yet Again
CHICAGO, IL - In response to an unexpected 3 percent reduction in both Lipitor and Crestor sales, the American Cardiac Association (ACA) and American...
Physician Signs Out Patient Census and Pager, Has Slight Orgasm
ORLANDO, FL - After having one of the toughest weeks in her professional career as a hospitalist during which she had a census of...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Dramatic ‘Code Placement’ Captured on Tape
AUSTIN, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has received word of a dramatic “Code Placement” captured on tape on Unit 4E at Austin Medical...
Poll: Why Are Neurologists Consulted?
We polled thousands of neurologists across the world to get down to the bottom of why they are consulted. Here are the top 9...
Three-Sentence Discharge Summary For Six-Month Hospitalization
ROME, GA - Doctors and hospital administrators are lauding what has been called a "breakthrough in succinctness," as a patient discharged after six months in...