Internal Medicine

ICD-PPM-WiFi

Shmedtronic Release New ICD-Pacemacer-WiFi Hotspot

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ST. PAUL, MN - In response to patient feedback on how to make their medical devices even better, Shmedtronic is slated to release a new combined implantable cardioverter-defibrillator (ICD), permanent pacemaker (PPM), and WiFi...
standardized patient

Family Meeting Gone Awry: Patient Makes Medical Team DNR

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KNOXVILLE, TN - In a palliative care-run family meeting that has gone completely awry, a patient and family has made their multidisciplinary inpatient medical team DNR/DNI with comfort measures only. "This is certainly not...
chapped lips hot mess express

All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!

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ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the Hot Mess Express! This is the Hot Mess Express...
gout

Man Hospitalized for Gout Flare After Just Thinking About Steak

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ATLANTA, GA - A massive sign that his gout is poorly controlled, area 56-year-old Jefferson Mason was hospitalized late last night after just thinking about a steak. "I thought it was innocent, a five-second fleeting...
turkey in code cart

Breaking: Study Finds Efficacy of Turkey Sandwiches in Convincing ED patients to Discharge AMA...

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In what is being called a major wake-up call for the Emergency Medicine community, a groundbreaking study published in The Washington Journal of Emergency Medicine found that the efficacy of turkey sandwiches in convincing...

Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas

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NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every man, woman & child, good or bad, influenza B for...
zika virus

Weakened HIV No Longer Worthy of Own Chapter in Medical Textbook

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BETHESDA, MD—HIV, the AIDS-causing single-stranded RNA retrovirus that was once universally feared, has become so much easier to control over the last couple of decades that it is no longer deemed worthy of having...
elderly patient

Elderly Man Admitted with MI Requests Pediatrics Consult

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ORLANDO, FL—Bobby Kidman, an elderly man admitted to the hospital today with a suspected myocardial infarction bizarrely rejected a cardiology consultation and instead requested only a pediatrics one, because, really, he’s just a kid...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Program Offers 7-Years-On/7-Years-Off Schedule

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PHOENIX, AZ—Many hospitalist programs around the country follow a 7-on/7-off model where clinicians work long hours for 7 consecutive days followed by a full week off. One hospitalist program, however, has taken it a...

White Coat Investor’s Wife Leaving Him for Man who took her out to Applebee’s...

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Dr. Dahle, otherwise known as The White Coat Investor, who is well known among the medical community as the authority when it comes to personal finance among healthcare professionals, has some bad news to...