Makers of Dilaudid to Officially Change Name to ‘That One That Starts with a...
WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning move the makers of Dilaudid (hydromorphone) have officially changed their product name to “That One That Starts with...
Hypodilaudemia Epidemic Reaches Painful Proportions
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Health and Human Services reports this morning that there has been a recent spike nationwide in...
Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
COVID-19 Study: Bandanas Superior to N95s, Surgical Masks for PPE
BOSTON, MA - Good news, healthcare workers: A study published in the New England Journal of PPE has found that bandanas are superior to...
Bee Sting Therapy Administered Despite Bee Sting Allergy Clearly Documented by Nursing
AUSTIN, TX - In what has been called a severe and disturbing patient safety lapse at Fort Collins General Hospital, a local man was...
Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding
ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order...
Medical Scribe to Subspecialize in Verbs
NORFOLK, VA - In her few years as a medical scribe, Kacey Agnarsson has observed how health care is getting more specialized with each...
Chest Pain Rule-Out: Patient with Stuffed Elephant Sitting on Chest
DANBURY, CT - A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed...
Man with Frog in Throat Also Has Tadpoles in Scrotum
HICKORY, NC - Jerry Thompson has been dealing with a hoarse voice over the past week, something not uncommon as temperatures cool with the...
‘Real World Medical School’ Canceled After One Episode
SAN JOSE, CA - The Real World Medical School was immediately canceled by NBC after the first episode last night. "Absolutely nothing exciting happened," said...