U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...
Nocturnist Found Answering Phone Call Without Passive Aggressive Feelings
NEW YORK, NY – In an incident of astoundingly good professional behavior, a nocturnist in Titmouse County Hospital, NY was found answering a phone...
STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village
SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there. Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad...
New Ventilator Attachment Safely Allows Smoking While Receiving Oxygen
CHARLOTTE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product. PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those...
Orthopods Now Offering Virtual Bro-fit Classes
Chicago, IL - Orthopaedists always figured their specialty was science-proof. "One day we will have a cure for heart disease, and the cure for...
Fifth Season of Netflix’s ‘Narcos’ To Be Set In Washington, D.C.
SCOTTS VALLEY, CA - Seasons 1 through 3 chronicled the drug trade through Columbia, Season 4 is poised to go to Mexico, and it...
Conspiracy! Powerful Microscope Finds “Made in China” Imprinted on Virus
ATLANTA, GA—Staring for hours at the 500,000x-magnified image of the novel coronavirus under his electron microscope, Dr. Henry Thomson of the CDC just could...
Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued...
Physician-Americans to Be Listed in Next U.S. Census as Newest Ethnic Group
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Census Bureau has just announced that Physician-Americans will be listed as a choice in the 2020 Census survey. Capitalizing...
No Way, Jose: Patient Request for Double Portions Denied, Made NPO as Punishment
BALDWIN, NY - In a defiant stance against a patient Rick Moravsky's request for double portions despite his ongoing treatment for CHF (congestive heart failure)...