New Extreme weight loss surgery: total gastric intestinal bypass
All that “digestion and absorption is so overrated”
Weight loss surgery has gained popularity, although success rates are no where near 100%. Patients have been...
Medicine Consulted by Orthopedics on Medicine Patient
OMAHA, NE - Earlier today on an inpatient medical/surgical floor at Nebraska Medical Center, a confusing series of events in the care of hospitalized...
Affordable Care Act to Close Donut Hole with Delicious Strawberry Filling
WASHINGTON, DC - For years, the Medicare Part D coverage gap or “donut hole” had always left senior citizens with a less-than-sweet taste in...
VIP Treatment Offers Merlot, Pinot Noir as Surgical Prep
MILL VALLEY, CA - As hospitals across the country merge into corporate conglomerates, they lose their identity, much like identical Walmarts taking out Mom...
CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving
ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...
Specialist Comes Clean, Reports Maybe 40% of All Consults Were Actually Interesting
In a stunning revelation this week, cardiologist Dr. Jeff Dykes estimates that despite writing “Thank you for the interesting consult” on all of his...
Newly-Diagnosed One-Handed Man: Totally Worth it
CUMMING, GA – Doctors on Saturday struggled to find out why patient Robert Shaffer lost his hand. Dr. Virginia Sullivan, an intern on the...
Newborn Nursery’s Infant Capacity Increases 50% by Hiring Former Tetris Champion
ATLANTA, GA – The Newborn Nursery at Swedish Covenant Hospital has seen a dramatic increase in their patient capacity after hiring a former Tetris...
Local Hospital Adds Overpriced Coffee to Patient Bowel Regimen Protocol with Fantastic Results
SEATTLE, WA - Seattle Memorial Hospital has dramatically reduced their rates of post-operative ileus and opioid-induced constipation by requiring that all patient bowel regimens...
EMR Cures Nearly All Physical Abnormalities Per EMR Physical Exam
VERONA, WI – According to electronic medical record (EMR) manufacturer, Epic Systems, the implementation of EMRs has improved the physical exam toward normal in...