Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding
BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...
Medical Student Mob Tears Down Statue of Andrew Wakefield
CLEVELAND, OH - An angry mob of medical students tore down a statue of Andrew Wakefield in front of the Cleveland Clinic Saturday. This...
New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination
DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the...
Goat Sacrifice to Ba’al Replaces Medicine Rounds, No Change in Patient Outcomes
During the seventh hour of internal medicine rounds one day, Dr. Frownalot had an intriguing idea. After hearing the resident present a patient with...
“New Intern” Added to Patient’s Problem List
Joining the ranks of “Congestive Heart Failure,” “Chronic Kidney Disease III,” and “Mood Disorder (Unspecified),” local patient Summer Days’ inpatient active problem list has...
How Ironic: Entire Palliative Care Team is Full Code
ST. LOUIS, MO - Palliative care, as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is "an approach that improves the quality of life of...
Hospital Reimbursement to Reflect Number of Positive Posts on Social Media
Mr. Smith had just been discharged from his local hospital after a 6-day stay for detox, anxiety, failure to thrive, and chronic pain. He...
Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper
Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...
Commotion in the Hospital Cafeteria After Healthy Menu Installed
LOS ANGELES, CA - A pediatric hospital has come under fire after revamping their inpatient food services menu. The director of nutrition at Coastline...
Man Claims to Have Caught Ebola from Flu Shot
DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot. The irony is found in contracting a...