Breaking: Facebook Placed on Pressors to Fix Plummeting Stocks
MENLO PARK, CA - With its stock value plummeting precipitously in the past 48 hours, Facebook has been started on pressors with lactated ringers...
Highlights From The 2016 State of The Medicine Address
GomerBlog highlights the major points from tonight’s State of The Medicine Address given by the President of Hospital Administrators, Mr. Cutter Salary.
Hospitals now...
Life, Liberty, and Opioid Pain Medicine: Lost Version of Declaration of Independence Unearthed
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - Archaeologist and historian Dusty Bookman announced on Thursday that he unearthed a lost draft of the Declaration of Independence among Thomas Jefferson’s...
Ask a Drug Seeker
Dear Drug Seeker,
I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...
Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...
A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale
The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management. A new scale has been devolved...
General Practitioner Pilots Rewards Program for Chronic Patients
SEATTLE, WA - Dr. Samuel Sheepman, a general practitioner at Wortley Medical Clinic, has created a new frequent flyer rewards program for chronic illness...
Patient Admitted with Life-Threatening Butthurt Exacerbation
CHICAGO, IL - "Move people, this guy's crashing!" EMTs yelled, asking everyone to get out of their way as they aggressively carried 33-year-old Alexander...
BREAKING: New York City Resident Tests Negative for COVID-19
“I’ve run 753 tests for COVID-10 this week alone and this man’s test was the first negative I’ve seen. I was nearly certain that everyone in Manhattan had Coronavirus.” Dr. Corbin explained.
Pilot Consults Medicine, Asks if Plane Cleared for Landing
DELTA 240 - Just as he started his descent into Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport after a long transatlantic flight, Captain Jack Wilson asked if "Medicine was...