Government to Mandate Scale-Operated Doors at All American Buffet Restaurants
WASHINGTON, DC - At the urging of First Lady Michelle Obama, the POTUS has issued an executive order aimed at curtailing the staggering rates...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
Fitbit Releases Sh*tbit, The Revolutionary New Bowel Movement Tracker
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Fitbit has released a revolutionary wireless-enabled wearable technology to help people measure data as related to the business of doing...
Medical School Revamps Admission Interviews to Mimic Day on Internal Medicine Rotation
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - After an onslaught of honest evaluations about several rotations from outgoing 4th years, a local medical school admissions committee decided to...
Suburban ER Named Fibromyalgia Center of Excellence
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Specifically mentioning its “soothing atmosphere, unrushed physicians, and tendency for staff to not smirk upon mention of the disease,” the Fibromyalgia...
Breaking: AMA President Leaves Presidency AMA
CHICAGO, IL - Despite the efforts of board members and peers to talk him into staying, current President of the American Medical Association (AMA),...
Patient Who Won’t Sign Consent Form Feared to Have Read It
The decision by a patient to not sign an informed consent form has left her surgeon petrified that she actually read the form. If...
Internal Medicine Certification Exam to Test Fewer Zebras, More Unicorns
PHILADELPHIA, PA – The American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) has just announced a shift in curriculum focus for the Internal Medicine Certification Exam...
Cat on Ventilator, Still Full Code After 4 Years
FREDERICKSBURG, FL - Local cat, Smokey, has been staying in the local vet hospital - in the ICU - for about 4 years. This...
Patient Stuck in Endless ‘Clearance’ Referral Pattern, Hasn’t Had Surgery in 6 Years
Mr. Smith, a 67-year-old man with a fair number of medical problems, has been trying to be medically cleared for an inguinal hernia operation...