Med Student Given Important Task: Find Out What’s on Today’s Menu
NASHVILLE, TN - Instructed by her team that the task she was being given was of the utmost importance, third-year Vanderbilt University medical student...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet
NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he...
IDSA Releases New Recommendations: Handwashing is Bullsh*t
ARLINGTON, VA - The world of medicine has been rocked early this morning with the release of new recommendations by the Infectious Diseases Society...
No Hospice Just Yet: Federer Ekes by Father Time 4-6, 6-2, 6-1, 1-6, 6-4
FLUSHING, NY - Roger Federer pulled through last night in his opening match against Father Time, surviving in thrilling fashion 4-6, 6-2, 6-1, 1-6, 6-4. ...
Doctors Become Obsessed When Elderly Lady Doesn’t Obsess About Her Bowels
Elderly Columbus resident Annette Smith was deemed mentally unfit after a recent hospitalization because she didn't even realize she was supposed to shit every...
Bravo! Patient’s Continuous Log of Stool Measures 5-Feet Long!
GREENVILLE, SC - With a swirl of stool in the toilet bowl resembling a generous piece of churro, patient Davis Adderley has just had...
CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country. There have now been over...
AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’
NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
Who Received Pope Francis’ Blessing?
Many people know that Pope Francis has been visiting the United States. However, not many people realize that he has stopped by numerous healthcare...
Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...
NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital...