Internal Medicine

medical specialist

Tips for Being a Medical Specialist

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Specialists are special physicians, not just doctors but lords of medical dominions. A Specialist must do several things to the patient—Specialists do things TO...
isolation gown

How to Put on a Contact Isolation Gown

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If you've never done it before, putting on a contact isolation gown can be quite tricky.  It might be easier to put on a...

Amidst World Cup Fever, Physician Issues Yellow Card

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ATLANTA, GA - An area hospitalist Dr. Jonathan Williams amidst the excitement of the FIFA World Cup in Brazil, has issued a yellow card...
holistic medicine

Area Lactose-Intolerant Holistic Practitioner Has Severe Lactic Acidosis

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SEPSIS BUNDLE HOSPITAL, CO - Area holistic practitioner Suzi Budzinsky-Donnitz-Sham-Meyers CPA, PhD, RN was unfortunately hospitalized today.  While she has been severely lactose intolerant for...
Achilles heel

Greek Hero Achilles: ‘Help! Can I Get a Podiatrist, STAT?!’

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ANCIENT TROY - Gomerblog has just learned that Achilles, the Greek hero who cemented his status by slaying Hector during the Trojan War, has just...

FDA: Keep Reusing Your Mask Until You Eventually Catch Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acknowledging the current shortage of both N95 and surgical masks, the U.S. Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a very...
Kevin Bacon sixth-degree heart block

Breaking News: Kevin Bacon Diagnosed with Sixth-Degree Heart Block

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LOS ANGELES, CA - After developing the sudden onset of shortness of breath, self-proclaimed Center of the Universe Kevin Bacon was rushed to UCLA Medical...
hand washing

Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States.  In public...

Unattended Orthopedic Surgeon Left in Hot Van

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PHOENIX, AZ - A tragedy occurred at Sacred Heart Hospital on Tuesday.  A couple of patients discovered an unattended orthopedic surgeon in a scorching hot van...
donuts, doughnuts

Breaking: Donuts Spotted in Break Room, Two Boxes!

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KANSAS CITY, MO - HURRY, HEAD TO 5 WEST!!!  In breaking news reaching GomerBlog just minutes ago, there is one... no, scratch that, two...