Man Hospitalized for Gout Flare After Just Thinking About Steak
ATLANTA, GA - A massive sign that his gout is poorly controlled, area 56-year-old Jefferson Mason was hospitalized late last night after just thinking...
Watching Cable News Raises Blood Pressure Better than Levophed, Study Finds
It is common knowledge that watching your Grandpa getting riled up night after night watching cable news opinion hosts rant and rave about their...
Coroner Cause of Death: ‘Physical Therapy Note Missing Date and Time’
ALBUQUERQUE, NM - GomerBlog regretfully reports on a hospital death that could have been saved if the physical therapy note was dated and timed...
Hospital Gets Rid of Patients, Doctors to Spend 100% of Time Writing Notes
State Hospital Medical Center has made headlines across the nation today by shutting its doors to human patients. Physicians will now spend 100% of...
Desperate Hospital Endorses Dirty Sock as Preferred PPE
CHICAGO, IL—As coronavirus counts rise, local hospitals face shortages of personal protective equipment (PPE). With any remaining viable PPE hoarded in the homes of...
Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large
GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South.
Earl Wayne...
GI Cocktail Wasn’t the Cocktail Alcoholic Patient Had in Mind
LOUISVILLE, KY - Proud alcoholic Steven D'Amato presented to the Emergency Department (ED) of Louisville Medical Center (LMC) with minor withdrawal symptoms and mild...
Three Wise Monkeys Support CDC Opioid Guidelines: ‘See No Dilaudid, Hear No Dilaudid, Speak...
NIKKO, JAPAN - For the first time in centuries, the three wise monkeys have spoken. In an exclusive and brief statement to GomerBlog, the...
Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today. New studies just released by...
Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition
DURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her Samsung Galaxy pager overheated and exploded. The incident occurred at...