Internal Medicine

blood donor 10 units of blood

Now That’s Generosity: Man Donates All 10 Pints of His Blood

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MIAMI, FL - We could all learn a thing or two about generosity from Larry Jacobs.  Today, in the true spirit of kindness, Jacobs donated...
Milky Way lactose intolerance

NASA Diagnoses Milky Way Galaxy with Lactose Intolerance

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HOUSTON, TX - If you ever thought that our solar system has a funky smell but could never figure out what it was, you're...

Judge: No Conflict of Interest for Cardiology Practice to Own Fast Food Franchises

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5th circuit court appellate judge, Courtney Mills, ruled in favor of Riverside Cardiology Associates, PC in the case of Delaney at el vs Riverside...
once upon a time

ID’s Epic Consult Note Starts with “Once Upon a Time”

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ALBANY, NY - A primary medical team at Albany Medical Center (AMC) is bracing themselves for the worst, as Infectious Diseases (ID) has just...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year

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ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...

Joint Commission Mandates Physicians Have Colon Cleansed Between Each Patient Encounter

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - In a shocking revelation the Joint Commission has released a definitive study of non-expert non-physicians that concludes "the most likely source...
diabetes

Paula Deen’s Diabetes Leaves Her Amid Recent Controversy

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SAVANNAH, GA – Food Network star Paula Deen’s diabetes made a stunning announcement yesterday: “I will be leaving Paula indefinitely.  I do not want...
iatrogenic injury fun run

Local Hospital Sponsors 5K Fun Run to Raise Awareness About Iatrogenic Injury

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HAVRE DE GRACE, MD - After noticing several readmissions for falls, double-digit INRs, and recurrent nonischemic chest pain, hospitalists at Harford Memorial Hospital realized that...

Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity

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NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...

Black Cloud Begs On-Call Meteorologist for Help

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Finding herself underdressed & underprepared for this torrential downpour of admissions and cross-cover calls, third-year medicine resident and self-diagnosed black...