Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Texas Ebola Doctor: ‘Nurse, I’ll Be Right Behind You’
DALLAS, TX - Reports are coming in that during the care of the Liberian Ebola victim, the lead physician told his nurse: "Let's go into...
The Latest Fashion Trend for the Fall: Chin Hammocks
The fall is here and with it, comes the latest fashion trends for the coolest and hippest of people of the world: those who...
Cardiologists Now Deploying Bacon-Eluting Stents
NASHVILLE, TN - Unfazed by the obesity epidemic and the glorious number of unhealthy choices at their disposal, Americans are always looking for innovative, quicker ways...
Exciting New Treatment for ‘Status Dramaticus’ Released Today by the FDA and NIH
BETHESDA, MD - Breaking news today from the FDA and NIH researchers in Bethesda, MD. A new treatment for Status Dramaticus (SD) has been...
Surgeon General Admits: Condoms ‘Kinda Suck’
WASHINGTON, DC - During a press conference yesterday, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy admitted that, although very important, condoms do in fact “kinda suck.”
The...
NFL Players Now Expected to Wash Hands Before, After Each Play
NEW YORK, NY - Keeping his promise to "Play Safe, Play Smart" and uphold player safety, National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell has...
Mother of Local Teen Decides to Go For It: Make Physical Exam as Uncomfortable...
WESTCHESTER, NY - Local mother and divorcee Tiffany Smith accompanied her 18 year old daughter Kaycie Smith into the exam room, clinic staff confirmed....
Point-Counterpoint: I Got Sick from the Flu Shot
Taking the Point will be Janet Flowerbottom, a local herbal supplement shop owner from Boulder, CO. Taking the Counterpoint is Carl Hogstrom, a pig...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...