Internal Medicine

prescription

Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend

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DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...
Totally Unclear Murky Liquid Diet

Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet

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AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...
Xanax

Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...

Patient’s Modified Lifestyle Kills Doctor

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CHICAGO, IL - Belinda Torres, a Chicago area busy professional, sent shockwaves throughout the medical community by taking her physician’s advice and modifying her lifestyle. ...
hospital administrators

Prezz-Gainey Releases Hospital Administrator Satisfaction Survey

1
CASH MOUNTAIN, MA - With much excitement, Shirley Survey, MBA, M$, JD of Prezz Gainey (PG) announced the release of the much anticipated Hospital...
empowered patient university

Empowered Patient University Established, Medical and Nursing Schools Threatened

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SAN JOSE, CA – A new university stands proud and tall in the heart of downtown San Jose.  Empowered Patient University is enrolling its...

Doctors Still Unclear Why Right Said Fred So Sexy It Hurts

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LONDON, ENGLAND - Despite a battery of noninvasive and invasive diagnostic tests, doctors at London Medical Center remain puzzled, as they are still unclear why...
board certification

ABIM Sponsors New Game Show: Who Wants to be Certified a Million Years?

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PHILADELPHIA, PA—Unable to develop a recertification exam that is satisfactory to all, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) now seems to be trying...
mechanical ventilator

Night Shift Enjoys New Ventilator Mode

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GOLETA, CA - Puritan Bennett's new ventilator mode is a hit with the Bay Harbor Hospital night shift. Along with the standard AC, SIMV,...

Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology

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LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...