Ashley Madison Data Leak Possibly Linked to Spike in Hospital Admissions
LOS ANGELES, CA - News of the Ashley Madison adultery website data leak is possibly leading to an unexpected surge in hospital resource utilization today,...
Nitwit GI Doc Leaves Scope in Patient’s Colon Again
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - "Gosh darn it!" exasperated nitwit gastroenterologist Steven Moravsky uttered in a state of shock earlier today when endoscopy suite staff...
ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...
Administrators Volunteer To Screen Patients During Pandemic
After spreading the CDC’s gospel for healthcare workers exposed to
COVID-19 and lacking face masks to show up to work with their bandanas, health administrators...
Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision
IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
Gerbil in Colon Nervously Awaits Bowel Prep Tsunami
SOME DUDE'S COLON - Gerald the Gerbil just received the bad news that his whereabouts have been discovered, and now he nervously awaits the...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
Dreaming Big: GI Doc Hopes to Reach Outer Space & Scope a Black Hole
SAN DIEGO, CA - Some of the biggest accomplishments ever made in medicine only came to fruition because passionate people were allowed to be...
April 18th 2016, National Rectal Exam Day, Free Exams at IRS Building
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to ensure the health of all Americans, the United States government has officially made April 18th, 2016 as National...
Valvoline Instant Oil Change to offer drive-through dialysis service
LEXINGTON, KY – In a surprise announcement this morning, a spokesperson for Ashland, Inc – the parent company of Valvoline Instant Oil Change (VIOC)...