Internal Medicine

herpes, Hillary Clinton

Hillary Launches New Public Health Campaign: ‘I’m with Her-pes’

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WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to raise awareness for the rising rates of genital herpes across all age groups in the U.S., Hillary...
medicine resident

Tired Medicine Resident Writes 1 Progress Note About 15 Patients

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BALTIMORE, MD - A third-year medicine resident at Johns Hopkins University, Geno Smulison, completely exhausted from a busy inpatient teaching service this month and...
hell

Dr. Oz & Joy Behar Birth Devil Offspring, Hell is Near

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THE NINTH CIRCLE, HELL - In a frightening development, it has been reported that Dr. Oz & Joy Behar, two of television’s most reviled...

Impassable EMR Alert Demands Flu Shot For Deceased Patient

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A best practice alert, recently programmed by a highly competent collaboration between non-clinical quality and IT personnel, popped up today when Beth, RN was...
CPR dummy manikin

Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
physician kiosk

EM Physicians Replaced by Self-Service Kiosks‏

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COLUMBUS, OH -  In a recent move aimed at curbing health care costs and improving patient satisfaction, Northland Hospital has installed self-service kiosks in their...
iv pca infusion pump WiFi

Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It

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BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...
traffic jam Flonase

Doctor Tries to Clear Up Traffic Congestion with Flonase

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ATLANTA, GA - Sincerely hoping that the rush-hour traffic this afternoon is just a manifestation of seasonal allergies, internist Roger Willoughby has just given...
doctor updating

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2

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This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1.  Let’s go! Nutrition Translation: Like it or...
vital sign monitor

Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records

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SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign,...