Internal Medicine

mechanical ventilator

Correction: Billionaire Purchases Hundreds of Ventilators FROM Coronavirus-Stricken Hospitals

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An earlier version of this article erroneously indicated that the billionaire purchased ventilators FOR coronavirus-stricken hospitals, implying he was going to donate them to...

Maker of EKG Pads Now Recommends 230-Lead EKGs for Patients

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FRIDLEY, MN - New studies are demonstrating that the more EKG leads a patient has, the more accurate the EKG is.  Previously, only 12...
pediatrics vaccines

Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence

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ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines.  It has been well documented that some...

New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds

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CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician.  She has been desperately trying to...
chapped lips hot mess express

Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess

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SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...

Pain Specialist Uses Ibuprofen Bottle as Substitute for Call System

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Dr. Habad Malik sent shock waves through the local medical community when he left town for a week, entrusting his call system to a...
Totally Unclear Murky Liquid Diet

Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet

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AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...
Landau

Lab Coats Now Available in Brand New Colors

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MEMPHIS, TN - Like the stethoscope, the white lab coat has not only been a magnet for bodily fluids and random food products, but...

Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A

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Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.”  It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...
doc mcstuffins

Reality Star Doc McStuffins Opens Up About Physician Burnout

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ALBANY, NY - A stack of unfinished charts.  Overturned juice boxes.  An exhausted young physician, asleep on her desk, is awoken suddenly by her...