Correction: Billionaire Purchases Hundreds of Ventilators FROM Coronavirus-Stricken Hospitals
An earlier version of this article erroneously indicated that the billionaire purchased ventilators FOR coronavirus-stricken hospitals, implying he was going to donate them to...
Maker of EKG Pads Now Recommends 230-Lead EKGs for Patients
FRIDLEY, MN - New studies are demonstrating that the more EKG leads a patient has, the more accurate the EKG is. Previously, only 12...
Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence
ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines. It has been well documented that some...
New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds
CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician. She has been desperately trying to...
Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess
SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
Pain Specialist Uses Ibuprofen Bottle as Substitute for Call System
Dr. Habad Malik sent shock waves through the local medical community when he left town for a week, entrusting his call system to a...
Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet
AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...
Lab Coats Now Available in Brand New Colors
MEMPHIS, TN - Like the stethoscope, the white lab coat has not only been a magnet for bodily fluids and random food products, but...
Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes
The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.” It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...
Reality Star Doc McStuffins Opens Up About Physician Burnout
ALBANY, NY - A stack of unfinished charts. Overturned juice boxes. An exhausted young physician, asleep on her desk, is awoken suddenly by her...