Patient Perfects ‘Sliding Scale Dilaudid’ Regimen at Home
MONROE, NC - A North Carolina woman has invented a new pain management protocol for herself, and she has experienced incredible success with controlling her debilitating pain. Anne Erskell hails from a Charlotte suburb...
Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys
BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve survey response rates. "We are so excited to give a...
To Control Patient Volumes, Hospital Takes Down Hospital Signs Within 5-Mile Radius
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Exhausted from record levels of ER visits as reflected in recent CEDOCS scores, emergency department staff at University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) Health System are taking a proactive approach and removing...
Ode to Thyroid: Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride
Listen
I have to confess
I have not been appreciative of you
You give and you give and you give
But you also know when to pull back
You keep me from being a fat tired constipated mess
You don’t...
Hospital to Open Day Spa in Dialysis and Infusion Unit to Increase Income
In a bold move announced today, Mt. Saint Elsewhere hospital stated that the dialysis and infusion unit will be offering supplemental packages. “Anything you could get a regular spa you will now be able...
Pulmonary Fellowship Personal Statement
My passion for pulmonology began when I was born as a premature baby and was intubated for acute hypoxic respiratory failure. I remember my doctors very fondly, working together as a team to manage...
Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In
CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver. This particular surgery is one of the most difficult procedures...
Doctors & Nurses Agree: Everyone Is a Poor Historian
ATLANTA, GA - Frustrated because you can’t get the details you want from a patient? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. A recent eye-opening poll held on the world-renowned medical website Facebook found...
What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?
General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine. “Oh, your tummy hurts? Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?”
Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid. The screams will be deafening.
Cardiologist: Stethoscopes. If you can’t hear heart sounds without...
Surprise! Ridiculously Restrictive Transfusion Threshold of Zero Associated with Death
BOSTON, MA - In a truly eye-opening study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the results of which no one could have predicted, a ridiculously restrictive transfusion strategy (hemoglobin threshold <...