Thursday, June 24, 2021

Internal Medicine

Medical Journals Abandon Editorial Standards to Publish 5th Grader’s Book Report

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In an unprecedented move medical journals across academia have done away with quality requirements to make data available to physicians on the frontlines as quickly as possible. It began with the International Journal of...
emergency physician

Dear BaconSpeak Voice Recognition Software Company

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I am an emergent see room dock door.  I am righting to let you no how much eye am in joying your voice recognition software.  Just like your sails man promised, it is a...
medical doctor

Doctor Absolutely Crushes the Lung Exam This Morning

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AUSTIN, TX - The patient's lungs never stood a chance.  After some idle chit-chat about symptoms of dyspnea and wheeze, hospitalist Miguel Ruiz proceeded to dominate the lung exam and kick its sorry little ass...

United Airlines Asked to Forcibly Remove Patient from Hospital

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CHICAGO, IL - Local patient Sam Johnson, who is being "taken care of" at Mercy Hospital, has not been able to leave for 7 months.  Internist Dr. Kyle Redding has failed miserably at placement. "He is...
Chipotle foodborne-illness menu

Staying True to Their Identity, Chipotle Launches New Foodborne-Illness Menu

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DENVER, CO - Chipotle admittedly had a rough 2016 but was surprised to see its customers stay loyal to the brand.  Realizing they can really get away with anything, Chipotle has released its new...

Patients Cancel Colonoscopy Due to Diarrhea

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BOSTON, MA - Due to a local outbreak of a diarrheal illness that has been short lived, several of our planned colonoscopies have been cancelled this week, a local gastroenterology clinic announced. Mary Beth Olson,...
medical cartoon

Medical Cartoons

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We recently received some great medical cartoons from a cartoonist and wanted to share them with you.  Check out his Med Cartoons site at www.medcartoons.com.  He was even able to make a plague doctor...

Top 10 Perks of Being a VIP in a Hospital

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1. Hospital volunteers will give you piggyback rides wherever you need to go. Don’t bother using your legs to move around the hospital.  Our dedicated stable of volunteers will carry you around on their backs....