Thursday, March 28, 2024

Internal Medicine

resignation letter for hospital

How to Write a Resignation Letter & Burn As Many Bridges As Possible

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With burnout at a record high and no signs of improvement in sight, there will be an increasing need for letters of resignation.  But how does one go about writing a letter of resignation?...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known for years that these malignancies were locally aggressive,” says lead...
turkey in code cart

Breaking: Study Finds Efficacy of Turkey Sandwiches in Convincing ED patients to Discharge AMA...

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In what is being called a major wake-up call for the Emergency Medicine community, a groundbreaking study published in The Washington Journal of Emergency Medicine found that the efficacy of turkey sandwiches in convincing...

Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...

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BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR" permanently tattooed to every potential central venous access point on...
tuck patient

Shhh, Doctor Physically Tucking In Patients Before Heading Home

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PROVIDENCE, RI - It's not uncommon for inpatient health care professionals to say they're going to "tuck in their patients" before shift change or going home for the day.  However, one hospitalist named Dan...

Doctor Vows to Not Sleep Until He Finds Cure for Cancer, Retracts That, Vows...

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OMAHA, NE – World famous oncologist Dr. Samuel Potter publicly vowed last week to "not sleep until I find the cure for cancer."  This big announcement followed the ceremony where his famous lab was awarded...
white coat

Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds

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WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters to glory, Lockheed Martin and Under Armour teamed up once...
obesity

Breaking: Numerical BMI to be Replaced by Pass/Fail

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Atlanta, Georgia - In a surprise announcement that has stunned medical professionals across the country, the Centers for Disease Control has announced that BMI will no longer be reported in a numerical format, and...

Children’s Book Review: Grace & Chase Tackle Acid-Base

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Pros / This book is a colorful, lyrical, and fun read for precocious infants, toddlers, and children with an interest in acid-base disorders. Cons / The tale focuses little on Bartter and Gitelman syndromes. The One...
declaration of independence

Life, Liberty, and Opioid Pain Medicine: Lost Version of Declaration of Independence Unearthed

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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - Archaeologist and historian Dusty Bookman announced on Thursday that he unearthed a lost draft of the Declaration of Independence among Thomas Jefferson’s documents. The lost version’s famous Preamble proclaims “Life, Liberty, and opioid...