Thursday, August 4, 2022

Internal Medicine

ativan diffuser

The Makers of the Ativan Diffuser Announce Ground Breaking New Product

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Capitalizing on their previous success throughout the healthcare world by the H-Vape 86, the makers of the Ativan Diffuser have begun selling their new Ketamine Diffuser. After the significant research by the Emergency Medicine...
bad diet

Hospital Introduces ‘American Diet,’ Patient Satisfaction Soars

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Patients and medical staff are abuzz about the University of Louisville Medical Center’s (ULMC) new dietary option: the American diet.  It debuted on the menus and order sets alongside therapeutic hospital...
ICD-PPM-WiFi

Shmedtronic Release New ICD-Pacemacer-WiFi Hotspot

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ST. PAUL, MN - In response to patient feedback on how to make their medical devices even better, Shmedtronic is slated to release a new combined implantable cardioverter-defibrillator (ICD), permanent pacemaker (PPM),...

An Orthopaedic Surgeon Explains Coronavirus

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Globogym Headquarters, CA – All rights dudes and dudettes, this Coronavirus is treating the world the way Busch Light treats gas station toilets. So set down your bro-tein shakes and lo-carb...
Jerome Adams Surgeon General Surgeon Colonel

Surgeon General Turfs Public Health to Hospitalist General

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the complex medical comorbidity of our country's citizens, Surgeon General Jerome Adams has turfed the public health to Hospitalist General Alice Stevens. "There is no...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management

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WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the Hospitalist General of the United States Amanda Jackson for medical...

Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University.  "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours ago," hospitalist Dr. Shaw told reporters.  "Something just spoke to...

Hospital to Open Day Spa in Dialysis and Infusion Unit to Increase Income

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In a bold move announced today, Mt. Saint Elsewhere hospital stated that the dialysis and infusion unit will be offering supplemental packages. “Anything you could get a regular spa you will now be able...

ZDoggMD: Hospitalists Popular

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA_HqZTAUw0

Rodgers: Ryan Braun Was Confused About How HGH Works

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GREEN BAY, WI - Ryan Braun, left fielder for the Milwaukee Brewers, admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs on July 22.  Green Bay Packers’ Aaron Rodgers realized that his friend, Ryan Braun, did not know what...