Frantic Mom Hires Exterminator to Rid Son’s Head of Lice
PRINCETON, NJ—A major outbreak of lice has struck a local preschool, leading one frantic mother to hire an exterminator to rid her son’s hair of the icky bugs.
“I do not play around,” said Mrs....
New Mental Health Hotline Established for CrossFitters and Vegans
Seattle, WA- North Seattle General Hospital held an emergency press conference today to roll out their mental health hotline for CrossFitters and Vegans that are struggling during the COVID-19 quarantine. “COVID-19 has touched everyone...
Healthcare Worker on Dumb Family Member Violence Increases by 86% in Recent Months
Starting in March 2020, an alarming trend has been noted across all police precincts in the United States. Healthcare workers have been committing violent acts against dumb family members at a shockingly high rate....
Direct link established between pandemic and chronic pain relief
During the worldwide pandemic of 2020 the US there have been unprecedented numbers of patients who have had their intractable, chronic pain conditions cured.
Dr. Lumbago is an emergency department physician at Sacred Heart Hospital....
China now referring to Type 2 Diabetes as ‘The American Disease”
China has taken the brunt of the blame for the COVID-19 pandemic, both as the source of the virus, and for the scarcity of potentially vital information. While the city of Wuhan has been...
Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face
VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias but also doubles as a Covid-19-prevention device. Indeed, this new...
Breaking: Numerical BMI to be Replaced by Pass/Fail
Atlanta, Georgia - In a surprise announcement that has stunned medical professionals across the country, the Centers for Disease Control has announced that BMI will no longer be reported in a numerical format, and...
Proactive Patient Does Own Admission Orders, H&P
QUEENS, NY - In one of the best examples in recent memory of medical self-ownership, a proactive patient not only sought medical attention but also did his own admission orders and H&P when it...
Nephrologists Propose Getting Rid of Sunday to Fit Dialysis Schedule Better
WASHINGTON, DC—Most people enjoy their Sundays—a day off to relax, enjoy a boozy brunch with friends, watch football—but for hemodialysis patients and the nephrologists who treat them, Sunday is a major inconvenience. Since most...
White House admin to decrease COVID by turning graph upside down
President Trump announced at a press conference yesterday that the White House would soon be advocating for a new approach to decreasing COVID 19 cases in the U.S.
“It has come to our attention that...