Saturday, June 6, 2020

Internal Medicine

Medical Knowledge Expanding So Fast That Everything You Knew When You Started Reading This...

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RAPID CITY, SD - On my first day of medical school, the dean proclaimed that “everything we teach you over the next 4 years will be obsolete in 10,” or something like that—I wasn’t...

COVID-19: ER Doc Relieved Man in Room 9 Just Having a Heart Attack

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NEW YORK, NY—Overwhelmed with hordes of COVID-19 patients filling the Emergency Department at Manhattan Medical Center, third-year resident, Dr. Noah Moe Karona, expressed relief and sheer joy upon learning that the man in Room...

Medical Student at Home Gets Thanked for Helping Fight Coronavirus

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At 9am Tuesday morning, medical student Colin G was making coffee in his PJ’s when he received a text from his Aunt Jan. “Hi Colin, this is your Aunt Jan. How are you? I’m sure...

Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer

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WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his Corona Beer. "You...

Desperate Hospital Endorses Dirty Sock as Preferred PPE

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CHICAGO, IL—As coronavirus counts rise, local hospitals face shortages of personal protective equipment (PPE). With any remaining viable PPE hoarded in the homes of worried-well patients, administrations have been forced to take innovative approaches...
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Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

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PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants to salute one such hero: emergency room physician,...

In Last-Ditch Effort, Federal Reserve Gives Crashing U.S. Stocks 1 Amp of Bicarb

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NEW YORK, NY - In a truly last-ditch effort to prevent U.S. stocks from crashing, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York has asked Pharmacy for 1 amp of bicarb.

Social Distancing: Big & Tall Medical Supply Shop Finally Selling Its 6-Foot-Long Stethoscopes

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NEW YORK, NY—Mocked for years for its unpopular line of very long medical equipment, Manhattan Big & Tall Medical Supplies is finally getting the last laugh. With health care workers wishing to keep a...
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CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before and after every encounter with a patient with...

Snapchat Filters Prove Helpful for Female Physician’s Telemedicine Business

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Boston, MA - With the current COVID-19 crisis many physicians are turning to telemedicine to offer continuity of care to their patients. One female, primary care physician has found that her approach to telemedicine...
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