Saturday, June 6, 2020

Internal Medicine

Medical Knowledge Expanding So Fast That Everything You Knew When You Started Reading This...

RAPID CITY, SD - On my first day of medical school, the dean proclaimed that “everything we teach you over the next 4 years will be obsolete in 10,” or something like that—I wasn’t...

COVID-19: ER Doc Relieved Man in Room 9 Just Having a Heart Attack

NEW YORK, NY—Overwhelmed with hordes of COVID-19 patients filling the Emergency Department at Manhattan Medical Center, third-year resident, Dr. Noah Moe Karona, expressed relief and sheer joy upon learning that the man in Room...

Medical Student at Home Gets Thanked for Helping Fight Coronavirus

At 9am Tuesday morning, medical student Colin G was making coffee in his PJ’s when he received a text from his Aunt Jan. “Hi Colin, this is your Aunt Jan. How are you? I’m sure...

Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer

WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his Corona Beer. "You...

Desperate Hospital Endorses Dirty Sock as Preferred PPE

CHICAGO, IL—As coronavirus counts rise, local hospitals face shortages of personal protective equipment (PPE). With any remaining viable PPE hoarded in the homes of worried-well patients, administrations have been forced to take innovative approaches...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants to salute one such hero: emergency room physician,...

In Last-Ditch Effort, Federal Reserve Gives Crashing U.S. Stocks 1 Amp of Bicarb

NEW YORK, NY - In a truly last-ditch effort to prevent U.S. stocks from crashing, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York has asked Pharmacy for 1 amp of bicarb.

Social Distancing: Big & Tall Medical Supply Shop Finally Selling Its 6-Foot-Long Stethoscopes

NEW YORK, NY—Mocked for years for its unpopular line of very long medical equipment, Manhattan Big & Tall Medical Supplies is finally getting the last laugh. With health care workers wishing to keep a...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before and after every encounter with a patient with...

Snapchat Filters Prove Helpful for Female Physician’s Telemedicine Business

Boston, MA - With the current COVID-19 crisis many physicians are turning to telemedicine to offer continuity of care to their patients. One female, primary care physician has found that her approach to telemedicine...