Internal Medicine

head lice

Frantic Mom Hires Exterminator to Rid Son’s Head of Lice

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PRINCETON, NJ—A major outbreak of lice has struck a local preschool, leading one frantic mother to hire an exterminator to rid her son’s hair...
crossfit

New Mental Health Hotline Established for CrossFitters and Vegans

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Seattle, WA- North Seattle General Hospital held an emergency press conference today to roll out their mental health hotline for CrossFitters and Vegans that...

Healthcare Worker on Dumb Family Member Violence Increases by 86% in Recent Months

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Starting in March 2020, an alarming trend has been noted across all police precincts in the United States. Healthcare workers have been committing violent...
shoulder pain

Direct link established between pandemic and chronic pain relief

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During the worldwide pandemic of 2020 the US there have been unprecedented numbers of patients who have had their intractable, chronic pain conditions cured. Dr....
childhood obesity

China now referring to Type 2 Diabetes as ‘The American Disease”

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China has taken the brunt of the blame for the COVID-19 pandemic, both as the source of the virus, and for the scarcity of...
ICD

Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face

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VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias...
obesity

Breaking: Numerical BMI to be Replaced by Pass/Fail

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Atlanta, Georgia - In a surprise announcement that has stunned medical professionals across the country, the Centers for Disease Control has announced that BMI...

Proactive Patient Does Own Admission Orders, H&P

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QUEENS, NY - In one of the best examples in recent memory of medical self-ownership, a proactive patient not only sought medical attention but...
dialysis machine ATM machine

Nephrologists Propose Getting Rid of Sunday to Fit Dialysis Schedule Better

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WASHINGTON, DC—Most people enjoy their Sundays—a day off to relax, enjoy a boozy brunch with friends, watch football—but for hemodialysis patients and the nephrologists...

White House admin to decrease COVID by turning graph upside down

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President Trump announced at a press conference yesterday that the White House would soon be advocating for a new approach to decreasing COVID 19...