Area Female Physician Changes First Name to “Doctor”
In Milwaukee today, a local cardiologist made the unprecedented move of legally changing her first name to “Doctor.” Fed up with being called “Nurse” or by her former first name for years, she decided...
Nephrologist Feels Wrong Eating Bowl Full of Kidney Beans
TAMPA, FL - Reluctantly bringing the spoon to his mouth after spending a few minutes swirling it in the bowl in front of him, area nephrologist Samuel Martins says it feels totally wrong indulging...
Unchartered Territory: Doctor Makes Patient NPO After Discharge
DURHAM, NC - Stating that the outside world contains enough variables to make pulmonary aspiration a true and serious risk, hospitalist Mack Reynolds has told his patient that he should remain NPO after discharge...
Doctors Unanimously Decide to “Stay in Their Lane” as NRA Tweet Advised
WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of Doctors who read the National Rifle Association (NRA) tweet to “stay in their lane” suddenly realized that the NRA was right. Maybe they should just stay in their lane.
“Most...
Hospitalist Hopes Stethoscope Fairy Leaves Money Under Pillow
ATLANTA, GA - Thinking he might get a fiver for it, hospitalist Jeff Rodgers placed his broken stethoscope under the pillow before going to bed last night in the hopes the stethoscope fairy might...
Breaking: Tilt Table All Crooked & Sh*t
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, hospitalists, cardiologists, and neurologists at Emory Healthcare have come to a rare consensus, agreeing this tilt table is all crooked & sh*t.
"Look at it, just look...
NFL Players Now Expected to Wash Hands Before, After Each Play
NEW YORK, NY - Keeping his promise to "Play Safe, Play Smart" and uphold player safety, National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell has implemented a new policy whereby NFL players are expected to...
Diaper Blowout Grading Scale Released by AAP
WASHINGTON, DC - The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Nursing Association (ANA) sponsored: Multidisciplinary Diaper Change Task Force released a consensus grading scale which will improve charting, and clarify communication regarding...
Badass: Cardiologist Stents Own Proximal LAD Just ‘Cause He Can
NASHVILLE, TN - In a dazzling display of both self-sufficiency and badassery, Vanderbilt cardiologist Dr. Barnett Timberland has just successfully stented his own proximal LAD (left anterior descending coronary artery) just because he can. ...
CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally
ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to remind Americans six months and older that there is still...