Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her at this very moment that today is actually Thursday not...
Meet Dr. Babinski, or Dr. Tickles
SOMEWHERE IN NEW JERSEY - Don Babinski changed the medical world. One of the biggest proponents of tickling patients, Dr. Babinski published over 35 articles showing the benefits of tickling. Most physicians have laughed off...
Product Review: Littman’s Cordless Stethoscope
Pros: Portable stethoscope capable of listening to human organ noises. No battery required!
Cons: The cordless nature of the device means you have no excuse not to listen to your patient's heart and lungs.
Littman’s new...
Fourth-Year Medical Student Unsure if He Should Mention His Parking Ticket on ERAS
PORTLAND, ME - In the already hectic scuttle of fourth year, one medical student is worried about the implications of his recently-received parking ticket on his NRMP match probability. “It just sucks after all...
Medical Student Mob Tears Down Statue of Andrew Wakefield
CLEVELAND, OH - An angry mob of medical students tore down a statue of Andrew Wakefield in front of the Cleveland Clinic Saturday. This anti-vax champion was best known for a falsified study linking...
Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes mid-poop that there is no toilet paper (TP) in his...
Surgeon Recommends Maximally-Invasive Surgery
KEARNEY, NE - Dr. Billy Ali Colic, a surgeon at Kind Samaritan Hospital, pulled no punches and hid no excitement when he recommended a wide-open Colo-pancreatico-prosto-aoritco-doudenostomy-ostomy for his patient John Dice this morning.
“Laparoscopic, endoscopic,...
Female Surgery Resident Reliant on VA Harassment for Affirmation
LOCAL VA HOSPITAL - In what has been deemed a natural progression of surgical training, local resident Sara Lowell now counts on her interactions with patient George Franks, a 65-year-old vasculopath and VA legend, as her...
Med Student with Crushing Debt Terrified He Will Like Family Medicine
MAYWOOD, IL - Citing concerns about his crushing debt, local 3rd-year med student Aaron Ferguson reports that he is “terrified” he will enjoy his family medicine rotation. “It sounds pretty good,” admitted a cautiously...
Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie
On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic. This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking for reasons to tear the medical students and residents apart....
